
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2423135.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Captain_America_(Movies), The_Avengers_(Marvel_Movies), Marvel_Cinematic
      Universe
  Relationship:
      James_"Bucky"_Barnes/Steve_Rogers
  Character:
      James_"Bucky"_Barnes, Steve_Rogers, Sarah_Rogers, Rebecca_Barnes_Proctor,
      Natasha_Romanov, Clint_Barton, Tony_Stark, Pepper_Potts, Bruce_Banner,
      Betty_Ross, Peggy_Carter, Phil_Coulson, Gabe_Jones, Original_Characters
  Additional Tags:
      Prompt_Fic, Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Alternate_Universe_-_Modern
      Setting, cam-boy!Bucky, good-boy!Steve, Webcam_AU, Webcams, Voyeurism,
      Porn, Bottom_Bucky_Barnes, Pre-Serum_Steve_Rogers, barely-legal!Bucky,
      Bucky's_18, Steve's_almost_17, virgin!steve, Established_Friendship,
      Pining, Mutual_Pining, Anal_Fingering, Hand_Jobs, Masturbation, Dildos,
      Vibrators, Figging, Come_Eating, Come_Swallowing, Blow_Jobs, Rimming,
      Anal, Anal_Sex, Oral_Sex, First_Time, Sexual_Tension, Resolved_Sexual
      Tension, Swimming, Flirting, Oblivious_Steve_Rogers, Bucky_has_a_Double
      Life, He_makes_dirty_videos!, Fluff_and_Smut, Smut, Porn_With_Plot, Porn
      with_Feelings, Porn_Watching, Pornstars, Buck_Me, Hey_There_Bucksters,
      camboy, Strip_Tease, Stripping, Lapdance, Warning:_NSFW_GIFS/images_at
      the_end_of_the_story
  Series:
      Part 17 of Stucky_Porn_Prompt_Challenge, Part 1 of Buck_Me
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-10-08 Words: 32103
****** Buck Me ******
by OhCaptainMyCaptain
Summary
     Steve's been friends with Bucky for fourteen years. Unfortunately,
     he's also been in love with him for nearly just as long. He's been
     pretty good at hiding that over the past few years - until he follows
     a porn link one night and accidentally discovers that his best friend
     is secretly a camboy. Steve really shouldn't watch those videos...
     Not with the filthythings Bucky does to himself that gets him
     screaming every time he comes...
     He shouldn't... he really fucking shouldn't.
     But Steve's only human.
Notes
     This story is dedicated to my best friend/sounding board for
     basically everything/life saver who lets me whine to her about
     basically everything during my clusterfuck-of-a-writing-process,
     shanology <3 My eternal thanks to her, not just for - as always -
     reading my shit before it ever gets posted and helping me along the
     way, but for also loving this story more than anyone else on the
     planet xD Seriously, I'm sure over half of these hits are only the
     result of her reccing it so much. I am not worthy, but all the same,
     I can never thank her enough <3 ONE DAY I will get my shit together
     and write •REC for you, baby :P
     Prompts/Kinks filled in this story:
     1. Webcam AU
     2. More virgin/skinny!Steve
     3. Highschool AU
     4. Figging
     5. Lap dance
     6. Strip tease
     7. Bucky fucking his ass with a vibrator
     8. Bucky having to take a monster-sized dildo and then eating his
     come after he finishes (**This one is totally thanks to shanology,
     btw ;) It's easily one of the hottest moments in the fic, and it's
     100% thanks to an excited Voxer conversation we had, which led to her
     asking if this could be included <3)
     9. Established friendship
     10. Cameos of other Avengers (P.S. She's not necessarily an Avenger,
     but 'Lizzie' is Betty Ross)
     My Tumblr is basically a place for Stucky, Sebastian Stan, Chris
     Evans, Marvel, smut, or inappropriate humour - so if you feel like
     coming and hanging out with me, please do <3
     I do not own any character names, settings, plot lines, concepts, or
     terminology as created, used, and owned by Marvel Entertainment, LLC
     ®. This is a work of fanfiction. Furthermore, I do not authorize the
     re-distribution of this story for the purposes of downloading,
     printing, or posting the story in its entirety on any other websites
     without first attaining my consent. Thank you.
See the end of the work for more notes
When Steve first sees the website, he thinks it has to be a joke. One that, for
the first few minutes or so, he has to admit he doesn’t find very funny. 
---
He’d always been what people would call a ‘good, wholesome boy’… Going on
seventeen in just a few months, but he’ll have already graduated by then (an
entire year early, since he’d skipped the tenth grade after it was concluded
that he could already read, write, and score at a college level) – with a good,
solid head on his shoulders and old-fashioned morals you just don’t see anymore
these days.
Steve has to fight the urge to roll his eyes every time he hears that. Because
what they mean to say by that is simply, ‘he’s sixteen and still a virgin; he’s
sixteen and has never had a real girlfriend.’ Everyone chops that up to him
putting his academics first and keeping his sights on what really matters, and
Steve just lets them. No point in gaining any unwanted sympathy by telling them
that, no, it has nothing to do with that. He’s just always been invisible to
the opposite sex, though not for lack of trying.
And he may be a virgin in almost every sense of the word – hell, he’s never
even gotten as far as French kissing with someone – but he’s not a saint. He
just makes sure to do his personal business as secretively and discreetly as he
can. He and his ma aren’t poor, but she has to work two jobs in order for them
to live comfortably, and with saving for whatever college tuition isn’t being
covered by his scholarship, Steve can only afford to give her so much of his
earnings to pitch in. Because of that, they only have one laptop, shared
between them both.
So Steve makes sure to always erase his browser history whenever he’s done with
it for the night. He checks it over meticulously to ensure he didn’t somehow
manage to get any evidence on it. He knows his ma doesn’t assume Steve’s
perfect – after all, she knows him just about better than anyone – but she is
proud of all of his accomplishments and the fact that he’s never running around
and getting himself into any trouble (save for the odd bloody noses or black
eyes he’s come home with in the past due to his stubborn, noble need to stand
up to bullies). So Steve likes to pretend that she’s none the wiser to his late
night endeavours between him and his right hand.
Steve assumes it’s like this for pretty much any guy his age – except that, and
he does not mean this in any sort of endearing way, he also assumes that most
other guys actually have someone else to fuck around with. He doesn’t, so… he
feels pretty confident that he probably jerks off far more than normal people
do (or should).
His IQ is embarrassingly high, and Steve’s always prided himself in his
spectacular memory, even if he’s humble about it if discussing it with others.
His teachers like to congratulate him (way too often) on his nearly impeccable
ability to remember historical dates, mathematical equations, scientific
theories, logistics, or what-have-you. His family has always gushed over the
way he could read music and then remember any song note-for-note on the piano,
even as far back as when he was just a boy. And his friends – which, contrary
to his non-existent number of aspiring partners-to-be, are many – always refer
to him as ‘the walking phone book’. Tell him your phone number once and Steve
will file it away in his brain forever.
You know what else having a wicked memory is good for? Memorizing all of the
best porn site URLs; the names of his favourite actors, or videos, or forums.
Steve never needs to bookmark or write down a single one - which means, no risk
of anyone needing to find out. Sure, Steve enjoys the classics, too, like
Redtube or YouPorn, but over the past few years, he’s been able to discover
some goldmines that, surprisingly, aren’t all that well known about.
With his hormones, it admittedly doesn’t take much to set him off like a
firecracker on his and Uncle Sam’s birthday, but he does have his preferences.
For example, he likes cam videos over bright lights and staged stuff, intimate
scenarios over hardcore smut, accidental, whispered moans over screams, and gay
porn over hetero.
That was something Steve had realized and come to accept over time – which, if
he’s being honest with himself, had taken a while. He knows a lot of people who
are gay, or bisexual, or the like. One of his friends at school is transgender.
Steve’s always been one hundred percent supportive about the right to love
whoever you love, or be whoever you were born to be and makes you happy. It’s
just always felt a little different – scarier – when it’s happening to you. He
still likes and feels attracted to girls; he just personally finds himself
gravitating more towards guys. He identifies as bisexual, but only his close
friends and his mother knows for the time being. The first person he ever told
was Bucky.
The thing about Bucky is that, in retrospect, Steve has absolutely no idea how
he couldn’t have realized his sexuality sooner – given that once he had, it’d
gone hand-in-hand with also discovering that he’d been in love with his best
friend since they were pushing each other on swings and playing Tag in
elementary school. Steve knew that Bucky was straight, so it wasn’t like he’d
expected some sort of profession of love when Steve finally came out to him.
Bucky had reacted pretty much exactly like Steve figured he would: he’d eyed
the blond’s face carefully to assess how Steve was doing, before throwing an
arm around him and joking, “That’s it? I thought you were gonna tell me you
killed a guy or somethin’, with how freaked out you looked. C’mon, man, you
know somethin’ like that would never make me see you any differently.”
And then they went back to playing Skyrim, and nothing had changed between
them, and Steve was only a little disappointed.
Steve would be lying if he said he doesn’t often wrap his hand around himself
late at night, close his eyes, and get off to what his name might sound like
falling from Bucky’s lips with a gasp; how he’d look, staring down at Steve
with half-hooded lids while Steve scraped up his knees and sucked his best
friend’s cock.  Everything about these fantasies is – for the most part –
nothing more than the concoctions of his imagination, and yet they’re still
hotter than any porn he’s ever seen.
Well… that had been true, at least.
---
There’s this forum Steve likes to hang out on; he has a free account, though he
never actually posts or replies to anything. He just likes to read the threads
and benefit from the many links that get tossed up in discussion. Some of the
best sites he’s ever been to have been thanks to the conversations he’s read
there.
For the past few weeks, he’s noticed some of the regulars talking about some
‘barely legal’ cam show that’s been gaining traction on the ‘indie porn sites’
(as ifpornof all things could have an ‘indie’ subgenre, Christ), but Steve
always just sort of glanced over it and never gave it too much thought.
Tonight, he’s checked out a few new videos and was able to make himself come
twice – which, given his poor lungs and overall less than stellar health, is an
impressive amount of times within an hour – so he figures, now that he’s
satiated, he can see what all the fuss is about while he gauges whether or not
he’ll be up for Round Three before hitting the sack.
It’s actually a bit of a tango to get to the actual site; a lot of link jumping
and essentially dancing through hoops. When he finally gets to the desired
website (which is, little to Steve’s surprise, dedicated entirely to ‘barely
legal’ gay porn), he gives himself a minute to look around the home page and
get a feel for whether or not this site is legitimate, or some sort of virus.
Everything checks out. It’s an interesting set-up they have going on – you have
to pay a fee in order to post videos on the site, and it’s actually not that
cheap; checking out to $275.99 for a year’s membership. But then once you pay,
you can use the site to set up your own profile and vlog, in which you can then
gain subscribers and charge them the right to watch your videos. The website
acts as the host, keeping its members safe through a third party URL and
Tracking ID, and they likewise earn a percentage of every dollar you make off
of subscribers. The more subscribers you gain (meaning, more exposure for the
site), the bigger the percentage of the cut you’re entitled to get.
Huh. Smart system.
Steve has the original tab open from the forum, but he doesn’t need it. He
hasn’t forgotten the name of the profile they’ve all been talking about. Going
up to the Search bar, he types in: buck me. He hits enter--
And nearly swallows his tongue when a profile link shows up, with Bucky’s
picture right next to it. 
Of course, he does a double-take, but that’s definitely him. Steve spends the
first five minutes convinced that this is some sort of joke; that Bucky somehow
found out which forum Steve was creeping around on and decided to play a prank
on him. But when he grabs his phone to shoot him an annoyed text, he stops
himself. Because what if it wasn’t a joke? How would Bucky react to Steve
finding out? The idea alone makes Steve mortified enough as it is.
So he puts his phone back down and slowly trails his gaze to the laptop again,
a deep frown on his face. He wonders if someone’s just stolen Bucky’s picture
somehow and is assuming his identity. He wonders how they’d even get a picture
like this one… Taken from a webcam… Bucky’s trademark skinny jeans riding low
on his thighs, showing off far too much of the sculpted V of his hipbones…
Bucky’s eyes, staring up heatedly at the camera, with his shaggy brown hair
looking slightly disheveled.
Like sex hair.
This picture could’ve just been hacked from Bucky’s computer, or maybe even his
phone, but the only way for Steve to know for certain is to…
No way – no, no fucking way is he considering going onto the profile and
checking out one of the videos. (You can, after all, view one of a member’s
videos for free before becoming obligated to subscribe if you wish to view
more…) Steve just sits there, dumbfounded, and continues staring at the screen.
He isn’t sure what he’s supposed to do, nor does he know how he feels – namely
because he’s currently feeling a dozen conflicting things at once.
Shock, but that’s a given. He feels… He thinks he feels a little pissed that
Bucky would be on a site like this and not even tell his own best friend that
he’s apparently some sort of porn star (oh god, is he? Are the videos on his
profile of him fucking someone, or… oh god…). He also feels an immediate sense
of over-protection and worry, because it’s hard not to see this thing as being
a bit of a big fucking deal.
How does no one else know about this in their group of friends, or just in
general at school? Then he remembers his specific predicament, and the fact
that he’s a bit of a sad enthusiast for ‘indie porn’, and he supposes it makes
a pathetic sort of sense. But still… What about…? Well… What about the fact
that this site is geared towards gay porn and male entertainment? Sure, women
can – and do – watch stuff like this as well; this, Steve’s learned from
reading comments and such. But given the nature of the site, if Bucky’s having
sex on camera, then the likelihood is that it’s with another guy.
Immediately, Steve feels a second pang of what can only be described as
betrayal, as well as a palpable sense of rejection. Bucky could be gay, or
maybe he’s just bi like Steve – but either way, apparently he felt that it
wasn’t something Steve needed to know. Or maybe he just wanted to spare his
best friend the embarrassment of being rejected by him, too. Because of course
Steve isn’t Bucky’s type… Steve doesn’t seem to be anyone’s fucking type.
Huffing and using this sense of indignity as his fuel to take the plunge, he
sets his jaw and clicks on the profile link before he can talk himself out of
it. Immediately, he notices several very important things: firstly, that
Bucky’s had a profile for the last fours months or so – in fact, created about
two months before his eighteenth birthday, and Steve doesn’t know how he feels
about that. Secondly, he has a whopping twenty-four videos uploaded; although
half of them appear to be nothing more than actual vlogs. Steve can only assume
as much; there are videos that seem to have been posted every Thursday since
about the beginning of February, and those are titled “#BUCK ME THURSDAYS”.
Clever timing, Steve thinks dryly. Thursday nights are Rebecca’s Taekwondo
lessons, so Bucky’s parents always take his other little siblings with them for
the couple hours they’re gone. The other half of the videos, however - uploaded
every Monday, from the looks of it - are called, “UPDATES FOR MY BUCKSTERS”
(his subscribers have afan name…?)
That’s the third thing… Bucky definitely has subscribers. A lot of them. Steve
looks at the number and swallows hard – 9,427. That’s… That’s pretty big;
doesn’t seem big in the grand scheme of things, but… that’d be like taking the
population of their high school and multiplying it by ten… Sticking all those
people in a baseball stadium and having them watch Bucky do – whatever it is he
does in these videos.
He also clearly goes by the name 'Bucky' to these strangers. Steve isn’t sure
how he feels about that, either. He’s never really had any claim over Bucky,
not in that way, but he’s always been the only one to have ever called him
that. To the rest of the world, Bucky goes by Jay or Jamie. But with Steve,
it’d always been Bucky or Buck – ever since kindergarten. In terms of
anonymity, Steve figures it makes sense; acts as a sort of ‘stage name’. But
that was supposed to be something that was his… The only thing that he could
feel did make Bucky his in a way, even if he could never actually tell his best
friend that.
He tells himself that it’s curiosity and concern that ultimately make him click
on the first video – but the fact is, he deliberately chooses the first '#BUCK
ME THURSDAYS' video and not the first vlog, so that definitely says something.
Because the truth is, another thing he’s feeling pretty strongly right now is
arousal. A whole fucking truckload of it, to be exact. Guilt, too, because this
is his best friend and this has got to be at least a little wrong – to see your
childhood best friend’s porn video… right?
But this is also the one person Steve’s fantasized about the most in his life;
the only living soul other than his mother that Steve’s loved so much that he’d
give his own life in a heartbeat for, if need be.  And sure, growing up, they’d
stumbled across occasions where they’d seen each other naked, but never like
this. Never with erections or flushed skin or dark, lusty expressions, or
however Bucky was about to look.
The closest Steve’s ever come to knowing even a hint of what that’s like were
the times where Bucky would crash the night, or Steve would sleep at his house.
And if they happened to fall asleep beside each other and happened to wind up
spooning somewhere along the way in the middle of the night, sometimes Steve
would wake up with a short, quiet inhale through his nose; feeling the
thickness, the hardness of the older boy’s erection against his rear or lower
back as Bucky slept soundly. Every single time, and it would lead to Steve
feeling like he was about to scream from wanting to touch it so badly; to rock
back against it and feel it press harder against the crease of his ass… Feel
Bucky stir awake and then clutch him tighter as maybe he’d start to roll his
hips forward in response…
All unrealistic fantasies, of course.
But now here he was, right on Steve’s screen, and… well, he invites all of
these people he doesn’t even know to watch, right? So… Steve tries to reason
with himself that, at least Bucky can trust Steve and knowshe’s not some creepy
seventy-year-old who’s secretly a serial murderer. If he hesitates, it’s only
for the briefest of moments… and then he clicks the ‘Play’ button.
The video comes to life, and there’s Bucky, sitting at his chair in front of
the computer, set up at the desk in his bedroom. Steve can see the Queen-sized
bed peeking out in the background from behind his friend’s head, as well as the
variety of band and movie posters on the walls. Steve can’t help but think that
Bucky looks a bit nervous, but he still flashes the webcam that million-dollar
smile that’s solely responsible for half of their graduating class being madly
in love with him – and Steve’s stomach flops, just like it always does.
“Hey guys,” Bucky begins. He’s not wearing a shirt; just the thin chain around
his neck that holds his late biological father’s dog tags. The quality is a
little fuzzy, but still strong enough that Steve can make out the scarce
scattering of freckles on his bare shoulders. Steve wonders if Bucky has any
pants on. Already, his heart is racing. Bucky chuckles to himself – and yeah,
he definitely sounds a bit shy, which is very much unlike him – and then looks
right back into the camera and keeps talking.
“So for those of you who are just coming to hang out with me for the first
time, I’d encourage you to go check out my first vlog post, ‘cause I used that
as a bit of an introduction as to who I am and what I plan to do for you guys
here… But…” (He chuckles softly.) “If you’re watching me right now then you’re
using up your free video, so checking out the other one isn’t really an option
unless you, you know, want to, like, pay and stuff. So, uh… Yeah. I can just
say some of that stuff again here, I guess.
“I’m Bucky, ummm… I just turned eighteen--” (Steve knows that’s a lie - or at
least, it was at the time.) “I’m in my graduating year of high school and…
Yeah, well, y’know,” he explains casually, shrugging. He gives the camera a
small, knowing smirk and continues, “I need the extra money for college in the
Fall, so I thought maybe I could have some… fun and stuff, with you guys –
granted that anyone out there is even interested, I mean – yeah, you know.” He
bites his lip and gets a self-deprecating smile as he squeezes his eyes closed
and shakes his head, chuckling in his throat again. He probably felt silly
recording this; Steve’s willing to bet money that, at least at this point,
Bucky didn’t fully realize just how precious and innocent he almost looks.
“Anyways, uh… As I mentioned in my other video, the way I thought maybe this
could work would be, I mean, obviously you have to pay in order to subscribe to
my videos; not my rule, sorry guys. But then I thought, could I at least give
them some incentive to want to pay to stick around and have some fun with me?
So how this’ll work is… Like, if you just wanna pay to watch, then that’s
totally cool. But if there was ever somethin’ you wanted to see me do in
particular, you can send me requests to my private messaging. I mean, you’d
have to pay extra for the request, but it’d just be a one-time payment. But I
mean… if you wanted to see me domore things to myself, maybe a few extra bucks
per request wouldn’t be such a big deal…”
Steve notices how, the more Bucky’s talking, the more comfortable he seems to
be getting. Now he looks to be settling into his own rhythm – and the way he’s
eyeing the camera (the viewers; Steve) now, the way he’s gained perfect control
over his voice and is already manipulating his tone to sound suggestive and
playful and sexy… Fuck. Steve’s rock hard again in no time at all.
It feels like Bucky’s talking right to him when he continues: “I thought we
could start with a request, just so you guys could get a feel for what I’m
about and then you can, y’know, get a better idea of whether or not you like
what you see. So, uh…” (His eyes avert from the camera and Steve can hear a few
clicks of the mouse while Bucky appears to be searching for something on his
own screen.) “Ah, heh, there it is. So, twinklover69 wrote to me and said, ‘Hey
Bucky, loved your first video – very fucking adorable. You look like you’d have
a nice, cute little ass…’” (Bucky laughs under his breath and Steve feels his
face flare.) “‘How about we get to see you show it off a little and maybe
finger it a bit?’”
Steve’s eyes bulge from his head as his chest tightens. It’s pathetic, but he
quickly checks the table next to his bed to make sure his inhaler is still
there, because holy fuck, oh my shit, is he actually about to see Bucky finger
himself? It gets even worse when Bucky smiles – just a tiny thing – to himself,
before peering up at the camera from beneath his long, dark lashes, and
replying coyly, “Well thank you, twinklover, I don’t think I’ve ever been
called ‘fucking adorable’ before, but… I have been told I have a nice ass, so…
Heh… Maybe you all can be the judges of that. So… Uh, okay… I guess I just…
Yeah, okay.”
Bucky can’t seem to stop chuckling while he’s talking; the only giveaway that
he’s still got nerves boiling away beneath the surface, even amidst the moments
of suavity. Steve’s heart is pounding so fast and hard that he feels like he
can hear the blood rushing in his ears… Can taste the pulse in his mouth…
Because suddenly Bucky’s getting up, and he’s only wearing a pair of black
boxer briefs. His abs looks fucking amazing on the camera and all Steve wants
to do is run his hands over them.
When standing, the frame cuts off right above Bucky’s pert nipples. He backs up
just a little bit to get more of himself on camera and then leans to the side
so he can grin at the viewers and give a small, boyish wave. Fuck, he’s so
fucking charming, even when he’s nervous and about to shove his fingers up his
ass in front of god knows who. Steve’s dick is pulsing sporadically and he
wants so badly to touch it, but he still doesn’t know for certain if he should
even be doing this… So he refrains for now. His right hand twitches.
Bucky proceeds to turn around so his back is to the camera and then slowly –
teasingly – slides the underwear down over his firm, toned cheeks. From the
twist in his spine, Steve assumes that Bucky’s glancing over his shoulder to
check out how he looks, before turning forward again and letting the boxer
briefs slide down his legs. He kicks them aside and then starts running his
fucking hands along his hips… across his tailbone… over his ass…
When he bends over and rests one elbow on the edge of his bed so he can reach
behind himself with the other hand and spread his ass open, Steve gets his
first glimpse of Bucky’s tight, tiny little hole and that’s that. He exhales a
rush of air from his lungs and wraps his fingers around his dick, stroking it
immediately. His body feels hot all over – both from being so fucking horny and
also feeling horribly (wonderfully) guilty; like when you get caught red-handed
for something. On the one hand, he feels like a huge creep right now. But on
the other… oh god, oh, he’s staring at Bucky’s beautifully arched back, the
contours of his muscles, that beautiful ass, that delicious-looking pink hole…
And without this profile, Steve would’ve never been able to see this in a
thousand years. It’s a dream come true, no matter how he packages it.
“What do you think, hmm?” Bucky asks, feigning innocence. Steve can’t see his
face but he imagines that he’s probably smirking. “Were you right? Do I have
‘nice, cute little ass’?”
Steve’s brows knit together as he stutters out a soft moan, his hand gripping
tighter and stroking from base to tip with just a little more fervor. Bucky
chuckles again, but this time it sounds a bit more self-assured, and Steve
feels like Bucky’s fucking toying with him. The brunet keeps himself spread
open for a few more seconds before maneuvering so he can lower his chest down
to the bed and gain mobility with his other arm.
There’s a quick, wet sound, and Steve guesses that Bucky just sucked a couple
of his fingers into his mouth to slick them up. The implication of this sends
adrenaline coursing through Steve’s veins; setting his heart off to an almost
dangerous speed as he starts twisting his wrist rhythmically around his
cockhead and begins to pant through parted lips.
Now able to touch his ass with both hands, Bucky keeps himself open with the
one and then brings the spit-glistening fingers on the other to his hole. He
teases at the possibility by circling his rim a little. “This what you… wanted
to see?” he asks, his face still off screen. He words have a lot more air in
them than they did minutes before. Steve’s never heard Bucky talk like this.
It’s like he’s seeing this guy he’s known inside and out for the last fourteen
years for the very first time, in so many more ways than just beyond the
physical.
Bucky’s finger continues to trace tiny circles as Steve’s baby blues follow,
mesmerized. And then he suddenly tilts his wrist and starts to push his middle
finger into himself – pausing every other second to adjust before continuing.
Steve’s hand actually stills on his dick because he’s so fucking stunned by
what he’s seeing; so erotic and forbidden and hot that his body completely
forgets how it’s supposed to react.
And then Bucky gets to the first knuckle and releases the most minute, muffled
groan, and Steve’s eyes involuntarily roll back into his head at the sound. His
ma’s room is upstairs while his is down, so he can always afford to get away
with a little noise, but he usually never risks it. Yet now, when he opens his
eyes and looks back to the screen, Bucky’s got his finger all the way inside
and he’s starting to just as slowly pull it out… Then shallowly pushes back in…
And Steve can hear him whisper hoarsely, “Fuck… fuck…”
Steve whines; he honest-to-god whines, and he’s never whined before. His body
takes on a life of its own and he starts fucking his hand over his cock, quick
and rough. On screen, Bucky gets used to the intrusion and then starts to build
up a rhythm of his own, until he’s able to fuck that finger into his asshole
with ease. Steve bites his lip, grunting under his breath and trying so damn
hard to stifle it. But he feels out of control. If he could think right now,
he’d probably think something very close to, He could tell me to do anything
right now and I’d do it, no questions asked.
Steve’s never actually done much of anything before, this is true - but every
fantasy that’s ever gotten him off the strongest always involves him trying it
for the first time with Bucky. Right now, the only thing Steve wants in the
entire world is to eat his best friend out. Especially when Bucky uses his left
hand to readjust his grip and spread his ass cheeks wider so he can work a
second finger on his right hand into himself... Steve wishes he had his tongue
buried so far into Bucky’s body that he made Bucky come from that alone. He
wonders if Bucky’s ever had that done to him; if he can come without touching
his dick at all.
He watches Bucky work himself nice and deep with those two fingers, and listens
to the small gasps and uttered curses that come from his speakers every few
seconds. When Bucky scissors his digits and stretches his hole open even more,
he whimpers, and Steve’s upper lip twitches as he whines again – this time a
bit louder. He’s got sweat misting his forehead and right below his nose. Bucky
looks like his back might be a bit sweaty, too, and it makes Steve feel as
though they’re somehow doing this together.
He suspects that that’s probably the feeling Bucky was hoping his viewers would
have.
Steve may be a virgin, but he knows what a fucking prostate is, and he knows
when Bucky’s found it. Because his eyes are glued to his best friend’s fingers
fucking in and out of himself – faster and faster and quicker and quicker – and
Steve’s feet are pushing down against his mattress so he can thrust his hips
off the bed and fuck up into his fist in a mutual tandem… And every time Bucky
makes a sound, Steve can’t help but make one in kind…
And then Bucky suddenly rams his fingers in, all the way to the knuckles, and
twists his wrist. For a moment, there’s no noise. But then the brunet’s body
spasms violently and Steve can hear a loud, impassioned, muffled cry. Bucky
sounds like he’s buried his face into his blanket; Steve wonders if he’s biting
down on it with his teeth… What does his facelook like right now…?
Bucky seems to do it again, because he sobs out another wrecked sound – this
one much clearer – and Steve’s hips snap up and still as his body goes
painfully rigid. Pleasure then explodes all throughout him when he’s hit with
his orgasm. He has to physically shove his fist between his teeth and bite
down… Eyes squeezed shut, body shaking, making desperate, broken sounds high in
his throat as he feels stream after stream of hot come ribbon across his belly.
Somewhere in the middle of his orgasm, he hears Bucky shout, “Oh fuck, FUCK,
mm!” as he presumably climaxes, too. Steve wants to open his eyes and see it,
but he literally can’t with how taut he still in; still trapped in the throes
of his own pleasure. By the time it eventually subsides enough for him to slump
against the bed and stare at the ceiling with wide, glazed-over eyes and loud,
erratic pants, Bucky’s sounds have died down and Steve knows the show is over.
“So…” Bucky suddenly says, his voice pulling Steve’s mind back to focus. The
blond lets his head loll to the side and, once again, he’s staring right back
at Bucky’s face. He groans weakly. Bucky’s hair is all fucked up, with some
strands of his bangs stuck to his forehead from perspiration. His face is
flushed and his normally grey eyes are bleary and look twice as bright as
normal. The frame ends just below his nipples, since Bucky’s back up close in
front of the camera again. He’s giving his viewers an obscenely faraway,
blissful, suggestive open-mouthed smile. Steve’s head won’t stop spinning.
“Did I make you want more? Hmm?” he asks slowly, between deep breaths. “Do you
want me more? I hope so… ‘Cause next time, I’ll be dyin’ to… Touch my dick
until I come… But only if one of you tells me I can… So please… Heh… Don’t
leave me hanging… M’counting on you guys.”
He chuckles; wipes his forehead with the back of his hand and then mumbles
something about having to clean up the mess before he gets in shit. Biting his
lip and giving an apologetic little smile, Bucky waves with a playful,
“Byeeeee,” and then the video ends.
Steve’s already rolling himself off the bed so he can go grab his credit card.
===============================================================================
Steve becomes subscriber number 9,428. He has to create a username upon signing
up, which leads to him staring at his laptop screen for almost an hour, trying
to think of something that wouldn’t automatically give him away. He doubts that
Bucky knows the names of even halfthe people who follow him, but for all Steve
knows, he gets some sort of email whenever a new user subscribes to his videos,
and if that email listedthe user and it was something too obvious, Steve would
be screwed. In the end, his brain continues on its luxurious vacation in ‘I-
Don’t-Fucking-Know Land’ and he just decides to go with ‘veste4’. 
He doesn’t know what he’d been expecting in terms of cost, but the grand total
often dollars to subscribe to Bucky’s profile and get access to any of his
videos - as well as any that get posted in the future – is definitelya lot
cheaper than he’d been expecting. Especially when taking into consideration
that Bucky himself paid almost three-hundred just to havehis profile in the
first place. But then Steve does the math and, honestly, the results throw him
off and leave him a little lightheaded.
With 9,428 subscribers, each paying ten bucks, that adds up to a total of
$94,280. Now, obviously the actual website takes a portion of that cut (which
Steve doesn’t know how much that is exactly), and Bucky wouldn’t have had this
many followers right away, but still… Doing the mental math, there’s no version
of this that doesn’t come out to Bucky at leasthaving made a minimum of twenty
to thirty thousanddollars in the last four months.
It’s enough of a realization for Steve to actually think to himself that if he
were halfway attractive - and knew his mom wouldn’t have an aneurism if she
found out - he’d probably do this, too.But he’s not deluded; he doubts there’d
be many people out there who’d even want to see it. So he puts that idea to bed
about as quickly as he’d thought it.
It’s disgusting, really, but Steve spends the entire rest of his night watching
Bucky’s videos. With each vlog averaging out to around three and a half
minutes, and the Buck Me videos averaging around six or so, he spends about two
and a half hours straight watching his best friend’s porn (this, of course,
factoring in all the times where Steve has to take a break – sometimes to go to
the bathroom, sometimes to get a grip on himself, and sometimes to shut the
laptop and adamantly tell himself that he’s notgoing to watch anymore… only to
open it up again two minutes later and reluctantly play the next one).
Then he spends the restof the evening re-watchingcertain ones. It’s a school
night, and yet he doesn’t actually try to go to sleep until about four a.m. He
doesn’t actually fallasleep until twenty minutes before his alarm has to go
off.
When it does, he gets out of bed looking like a zombie and pads clumsily into
the bathroom. The night before had set some sort of new record for him, and
this morning, he’s feeling the effects of that. He’s not used to being able to
come thatmany times, so he’s exhausted all over,both mentally and physically.
And yet, standing beneath the hot shower stream and remembering snippets of the
things he’d seen, he’s able to get hard againand he finds himself shuddering
with his forehead pressed against the cool tiled wall when he spills all over
his fist another five minutes later.
He is so going to Hell when this is all over.
Strangely, it isn’t even until he parks his car in the student parking section
later that morning and sees Bucky sitting on one of the picnic tables – waiting
for Steve like he does every day, in the exact same spot – that Steve realizes
he hadn’tcalculated this.He has absolutely zerogame plan; no idea how to look
his best friend in the eye or talk to him like he hadn’tstayed up until nearly
sunrise, jacking off to porn videos that Steve assumes Bucky never intended for
him to see.
So what does he do? He stays in his car. His big, brilliant plan involves
hoping that if he wishes hard enough, the seat will magically swallow him up
and he’ll be able to avoid this conversation. But of course, Bucky’s already
seen him pull in, so for a half minute or so, they’re just staring at each
other awkwardly – Steve, looking like he’d seen a ghost, and Bucky, like Steve
grew a second head. Eventually, Steve sees Bucky pitch the cigarette that’d
been hanging between his lips, before throwing his hands in the air and
mouthing, ‘The fuck are you doin’?’
Fuck. He has to get out; his plan didn’t work. Fuck. His hands are shaking the
slightest bit, but he wills himself to grab his backpack and exit the car. When
he tries to punch the button with his thumb on his keychain to lock the door,
he’s so frazzled that he drops them to the ground altogether. He swoops to a
knee to pick them up, only to straighten again and jump about a foot out of his
skin when he realizes Bucky’s now standing rightnext to him.
Bucky jumps too, startled by Steve’s reaction. His grey eyes go wide and then
he throws up his hands and laughs. “The hell is your problem, Stevie? It’s
eight-thirty in the morning – it’s way too early for you to be so awkward
justyet!” he teases. He grabs Steve’s shoulders to steady him and then raises
his eyebrows, still wearing that slight, open-mouthed smile. “You okay there?
Gonna pass out on me or somethin’? Maybe take out your inhaler, just to be
safe.”
Steve just stares back at him. He’d settle for even stammeringsomething at the
moment, because at least he’d be making sounds. But apparently, his brain is
still out on that holiday from earlier so he just keepsfucking staring. Because
the thing is, Bucky’s right there and he’s still the exact same person he was
yesterday. Only he’s also changed entirely. Or is it just Stevewho’s changed,
because now he knows? Technically speaking, Bucky’s stillbeen the guy making
these porn videos over the last four months, and Steve’s never seen him as
being any different – simply because he hadn’t been aware of them. It’s all so
confusing and he just wishes he could say one goddamn thing, anything!Anything
to make this moment less uncomfortable.
All his brain can do is take in the way Bucky looks today, which is nothing
short of mouth-watering. That, which is a relief in a strange way, is exactly
the same as Steve’s always known. Bucky alwayslooks amazing, with his side-
swept bangs and brilliant eyes and even the slight crookedness in his top
teeth, which only makes his smile all the more adorable and charming. Today,
he’s wearing a simple white t-shirt beneath his usual black leather jacket,
opened down the middle, with his dad’s dog tags hanging down the center of his
chest. Bucky’s got a collection of different coloured skinnies, but today he’s
wearing the black ones (which are Steve’s personal favourite). The look is
completed with his faded pair of combat books and the tiny, black plugs in his
ears.
Steve’s wearing a baggy sweater, jeans, and converse shoes. He feels ridiculous
by comparison; sort of like it’s offensive just to have him standing nextto
someone who looks so good. The only thing he has going for him (maybe – he can
hope) is that hisgolden hair is the same length as Bucky’s and sits just as
nicely – always having that slightly messy, but somehow perfectly styled look,
without Steve having to really do anything to it.
He realizes he’s zoned out because Bucky’s voice suddenly pulls him back.
“Hellooo, Earth to Steve, this is your mother ship calling!” Bucky says loudly,
waving his hand in front of Steve’s face. Because of their height difference,
Bucky has to hunch down to look him in the eye, which he swiftly does,
concerntaking over on his face. “Steve, seriously, you okay? If you feel sick,
you should’a stayed home.”
(Bucky’s always been overprotective of Steve in general, let alone when it
comes to his health. Steve tries never to read into it.)
“I – I’m fine,” Steve finally manages to say. He’s so damn relieved that
that’swhat came out and not, I found your site and I jerked off to it and was
able to come over ten times, Buck, can I kiss you please and maybe suck your
cock?
Bucky hums, unconvinced, and shoves a hand under Steve’s bangs to feel his
forehead. This turns out to be surprisingly grounding and helps clear the daze
fogging up Steve’s head. He hatesgetting babied, even by Bucky, so his eyes
gain back some focus as he ducks away from the touch. “I said m’fine, jerk,
stop,” he snaps.
Bucky blinks, but then chuckles and grins. “Ah, there’sthe kid I know and I
love.” He throws an arm around Steve’s shoulder and turns him so they can head
towards the school, Steve nearly forgetting to glance back at his car and lock
the doors properly this time. He tries to make as much casual conversation as
possible, but it’s reallyfucking hard. When Bucky mentions that he texted Steve
the night before regarding the latest episode of Sons of Anarchy(he’s been
catching up), and innocently asks what Steve was so busy doing that he couldn’t
bother texting his best friend back, Steve opens his mouth to answer and winds
up making this fucking weirdand unexpected honking noise. They’re bothquite
startled by it.
Bucky’s eyes narrow with confusion and he justgoes to open his mouth when
there’s a flurry of movement and red hair, and suddenly Natasha is tackling
Bucky and jumping on him. “Morning boys!” she says intentionally loudly, making
her presence known. She grabs the side of Bucky’s face and gives his cheek a
loud, smacking kiss before reaching out and slapping a hand on top of Steve’s
hair, quickly ruffling it up.
“Ah, Nat, fuck off!” Steve groans, batting her hand away frantically and
smoothing it back down.
“I’ll give you your morning kiss later, Rogers; I had to make up for it
somehow!” she shoots back coolly before monkeying her way to Bucky’s back and
making herself comfortable. Bucky just rolls his eyes and bends his elbows so
he has a good grip on Natasha’s legs and can hold her weight.
“Mornin’, Nat,” he says flatly. Steve smiles. Bucky pretends to struggle to
keep her up, asking, “Ugh, big breakfast or something?” She responds by
tightening her legs around his waist and grabbing the top of his ear, tugging
on it with a little amused smirk on her lips. Bucky’s head tilts in that
direction and he harmlessly shouts out, “Owowowowowow, okay, sorry, I get it!”
Nat looks pleased and triumphant as she glances to Steve and then winks. Steve
can’t help but laugh before saying, “Clint on his way?”
“Oh yeah, he’s right there, I just ran up ahead of him,” she replies, turning
her head and pointing lazily.
Sure enough, they hear the sound of Clint’s longboard, and he rolls up only a
few seconds later. He comes in and gives Steve what they call a ‘bro hug’ while
Bucky can be heard in the background, wrangling a protesting Natasha off of his
back so he can properly say good morning to Clint. Steve watches Bucky go and
give him a hug similar to the one Clint had just given him, while Natasha sighs
over-dramatically and then comes over to him and lays the same rough kiss to
his cheek like she’d given Bucky. Technically, it’s the most action Steve ever
gets – even if she only ever does it to them strictly platonically – so he just
gives her a little smile as he pushes his glasses back up the bridge of his
nose.
“Didn’t feel like your contacts today, Rogers?” Clint asks.
“Oh, I, uh, sort of overslept this mornin’, so I didn’t have time,” Steve lies.
“That’swhy you were so weird when you pulled in!” Bucky jumps in. Then he
starts relaying Steve’s awkwardness in all of its glory while they finally head
in. They go through their usual routine: head to their lockers and grab
whatever they need for their individual classes, before meeting Sam by
hislocker, Maria by hers, and then joining Bruce, Lizzie, Tony, and Pepper in
the cafeteria to grab something small for breakfast. Phil and Peggy, always
joining them late thanks to their student council meetings in the mornings, are
the last to grab their seats at their usual table. Everyone wiles away the
minutes before class begins by shooting the shit and complaining about what
they all have on their schedules for the day.
Today, Steve doesn’t really feel very talkative. He listens to pieces of
different conversations and pretends to be interested while he picks apart his
caramel coffee muffin and sneaks glances at Bucky. He’s in the middle of
telling some story to Tony and Clint that Steve’s already heard; about
something hilarious one of his teammates, Gabe, had done after their basketball
practice the day before. Every time Bucky laughs, Steve’s stomach twists.
His eyes are glued to Bucky’s mouth, and beneath the table, he’s once again as
hard as a rock.
===============================================================================
“Hey, didja wanna come by my house for a swim or somethin’?” Bucky asks at the
end of the day, leaning against the row of lockers and eyeing Steve, who’s
unloading the books from his bag into his own. Steve can feel Bucky’s eyes on
him while the latter waits for the answer – and Steve knows this is a test. 
He’s been acting weird all day. Worst of all, Bucky's totally called him on it,
asking Steve all day if everything was alright. Steve doesn’t have another
shift for work until Saturday, and so usually he’d have absolutely no problem
going and hanging out at Bucky’s. At the very least, there’d be no hesitancy in
his answer.
And it’s not that he doesn’twant to go, it’s just… Frankly, he’s been fighting
boners all day and was barely able to pay attention during any of his classes.
He’d spent all day pretty much zoning out and daydreaming about Bucky; the
things he saw Bucky do to himself… The things Stevewants to do to him… Have
done tohim by Bucky…
He swallows the lump in his threat and forces a cheery smile to his face.
“Yeah, sure,” he replies. “I just gotta run home and mow the lawn for ma, but I
can be over around four-ish?”
Bucky seems pleasantly surprised – and relieved – by this answer. He gets a big
grin and then says quickly, “Oh, yeah, whatever, any time is cool, man – no
rush! You know the drill, just come on in whenever you get there.”
“Okay.”
“Cool. ‘Kay, well, I’m gonna jet; I told Nat and Clint I’d walk home with them,
so…”
“Yeah, for sure. Tell them I’ll see them tomorrow.”
“Sounds good,” Bucky says, still smiling, before giving Steve an affectionate
little shove and heading out to leave. “See you later!” he calls over his
shoulder. Steve keeps the easygoing smile plastered on his face until Bucky
rounds the corner down the hall and is no longer in sight. Then he groans and
hits his forehead off his locker door a few times.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he mutters to himself with every light bang. Taking a
small step to the side, he shuffles as close as he can to his opened locker and
then leans forward, hiding his head inside. He sighs; considers crawling in (he
can fit; sadly, he knows this), closing the door, and hiding there until
morning.
Because sure, why not? Let’s go swim around in Bucky’s pool, wearing nothing
but bathing suits and seeing all of that water clinging to his best friend’s
hair… Trickle in thick droplets down his body… See how the chilly but
refreshing temperature of the water makes his nipples harder…
This is a great plan.
---
He’d totally lied about having to mow the lawn. He’d already done that the day
before. What Steve reallyneeded was the chance to run home, lock himself in his
room, and figure out how to calm himself down so that he didn’t make a jackass
of himself while at Bucky’s later. Of course, all that leads to is him drumming
his fingers off of his knee anxiously, before his baby blues slowly trail over
to the laptop, which he’d forgotten to put back upstairs before heading to
school. Luckily, his ma’s been at work all day, so she wouldn’t have needed it.
Steve spends about twenty minutes debating whether or not he should, but then
the next thing he knows, his pants are by his ankles and his toes are curling
in his socks as he touches himself yet againto one of Bucky’s videos.
There’s certainly been a lot of… variety, in the twelve pornographic videos
he’s uploaded. To his complete and utter relief, there aren’t actually any of
Bucky doing anything with another person (though it still makes Steve’s stomach
churn that it couldhappen some day). Some of them are longer, some shorter; the
second Buck Me video he’d posted was indeed him fulfilling a request to jerk
himself off – which, according to Bucky’s introduction, had been an
overwhelmingly popularrequest after his first video. Apparently he’d gotten his
first thousand followers within twenty-four hours of posting the first video.
Steve isn’t surprised at all.
The video where he jerks off for the first time on camera isn’t Steve’s
favourite, but it’s pretty damn close. Of course, he’d seen Bucky naked plenty
of times, and Bucky had seen Steve in return, but both of them were always
flaccid when it had happened and the circumstances (no surprise) were always
innocent. But after all those times of Steve feeling it accidentally pressing
against him while Bucky slept, Steve had an idea of its size. To actually see
it in all of its glory was mind-blowing in and of itself.
Of course, that clearly wasn’t the best part of that video – it was watching
Buckywhile he did it. He’d recorded it on his laptop that time, as opposed to
the cam on his PC, so the frame was a lot more up close and Steve could see
everything from the way his hand moved (the things Bucky repeated and seemed to
like best), to every little facial expression Bucky made during.
Some people are just beautiful to watch while they get lost in their pleasure.
The vulnerability and honestyin Bucky’s features while he’d watched his own
hand and released tiny little unh’s and mm’s with every few breaths was like…
It was like taking how stunning Tayte Hanson is while he fucks and combining it
with how gorgeous Jaxon Radoc is when he comes.  
Naturally, the first time Steve watched that video, he hadn’t even been able to
last as long as halfway through. He got as far as Bucky giving his cock
onestroke before he was spilling all over the place.
Some of the other videos progressively got a little dirtier; ranging from Bucky
fucking his ass with a dildo, to trying to see if he could get himself off
doing nothing but playing with and pinching his nipples (he almostsucceeded but
couldn’t get all the way there, so he had to put a hand down south near the end
and admit failure, which Steve found ironic cause it sure as fuck had still
felt like a winin hisbooks)… There’s one of Bucky experimenting with anal
beads, and one with a plug; one where he’d been challenged to see how many of
his fingers he could take before it was too much (four).
Steve had watched him drip candle wax along his chest while he was instructed
to touch everywhere buthis cock, and – in a video that actually made Steve have
a small asthma attack – do nothing but try and milk his prostate while he
writhed on the bed and talkedthe entire time… About what he wanted the person
on the other side of the screen to be doing to him. Fuck, there was even one
where he’d been requested to do nothing but play with his foreskin and touch it
up close to the camera, and Steve had found that surprisingly erotic.
Bucky doesn’t come in all of them, though – for his subscribers – he tends to
in the majority of them. By about the fifth video, Steve had noticed that Bucky
was finding his footing and getting comfortable with what exactly his stage
persona was. Bu the seventh video, he’d opened up his Buck Me Thursday video
with, “Hey there, Bucksters!” (which turned out to be his trademark opening
that he carried over into every video that followed). By video number ten, all
prior shyness was completely gone, and Bucky addressed the camera as if
everyone on the other side were his close friends. This, of course, allowed
Bucky to become even more flirtatious and seductive when the time called for
it, which had just meant even morestartling orgasms for Steve while he watched
helplessly.
And yet, Steve compromises with himself that he’ll only watch onevideo and then
head over to Bucky’s – just to get it out of his system – but he doesn’t watch
any of these. They aren’t his number one favourite. He isn’t completely sure
whythis one in particular does it for him the most, but… He pants to himself
and thrusts his hips up into his fist while he re-watched #BUCK ME THURSDAY #9
– aka, the one where Bucky was requested to give the camera a strip tease.
Honestly, watching the slow, sensual way he moves in this video, Steve’s
convinced that Bucky could just make a solid career as a burlesque dancer or
something down that alley. Steve has noidea where his best friend learned to do
that, but it’s literally the most erotic thing he’s ever seen – and that
includesall of Bucky’s other videos. It’s sort of humiliating to admit, but in
less than twenty-four hours, Steve’s watched this video about ten times. And
just like the other nine times, he comes within the first minute... then spends
the rest of it watching with heavy lids and a dopey look on his face while he
fights to catch his breath.
Cleaning himself up afterwards, he looks at his reflection in the mirror and
then mutters, “Fuck.” That plan hadn’t helped him at all. He’d naively thought
maybe the release would ease some of the built up tension, but he realizes that
was just wishful, foolish thinking. He should’ve really known better, that this
would make things worse and be a terribleidea. But it’s too late now. So,
chewing the inside of his cheek until it’s almost bloody, he fishes through his
dresser to grab his bathing suit and then leaves a note for his mom, in case
she gets off of her shift early. Hopping back into his car, he heads out to
Bucky’s place.
Bucky’s home is large, which is accommodating, given that it has to comfortably
house a family of six. For Steve, the Barnes-Proctor residence is his second
home and second family. Bucky was barely four when he’d met Steve, back when
they were both being babysat by the same lady, and Bucky had already been
adopted by the Proctors at that point. So they’ve known him as long as his best
friend has and have always been just another set of parents to him. This means
that after fourteen years, Steve neverneeds to knock when he shows up.
Walking through the front door, he calls out, “Hey Buck? M’here!”
“In the kitchen, buddy; just grabbing a glass of OJ. You want in?” Bucky calls
from down the hall.
“Nah, I’m fine. M’gonna use the washroom to change,” Steve replies. A few
minutes later, he walks back out in his swim trunks and his t-shirt. Even
though Bucky’s seen him shirtless almost as much as his own mother has, Steve
hatesbeing on display like that. He knows his underweight figure is most
definitely notattractive; he doesn’t need the guy he’s always been craziest
about having to look at it, too.
Sure enough, though, when he steps into the kitchen and Bucky sees him, he
rolls his eyes mid-sip of juice and then says after swallowing, “Dude, it’s
just us – how many times do I have to tell you that it’s okayto take the shirt
off?”
Steve’s already opening up the fridge door to pull out a bottle of water.
Internally, he just keeps trying to remember notto go blurting anything out or
be weird or something. So he just says something along the lines of what he
always says, only vaguely hearing himself – Yeah, I know, Buck. Still don’t
mean m’gonna take it off, though.
Bucky watches him while he leans against the counter and traces his index
finger around the rim of his glass. Narrowing his eyes just the tiniest bit, he
asks, “You surenothing’s up with you? You’ve been off all day; can’t shake the
feelin’ that there’s something you ain’t telling me.”
Steve closes the door and twists the cap off of the water bottle; buying
himself some time by taking a big, long gulp while he gathers his thoughts and
tries to appear casual. He shrugs, playing dumb. “I told you I’m fine,” he
replies. “Maybe it’s just ‘cause it’s getting closer to prom and…”
Bucky’s face relaxes and he gets a look, as though he suddenly fully
understands. Steve feels bad for making Bucky think he getsit now, when he
really, reallydoesn’t. “Steve, I know what you’re doin’ to yourself, okay?
You’re gonna get all stressed out about askin’ someone, and then if none of the
girls at school are smartenough to see how much of a catch you are, you’re
gonna take it personally, get all down on yourself, and not wanna go.”
(Okay, well, that’s still sort of true.)
“Buck,” Steve sighs, “I don’t wanna talk about--”
“Okay, okay, we won’t,” Bucky interrupts, lifting his hands in surrender. But
then he brings his glass back to his lips and says matter-of-factly, “But I
already spoke to the rest of the gang and we’ve all decided we’re gonna go stag
so we can make it a group thing.”
“What?” Steve asks in surprise.
This gets Bucky smiling. “You heard me – no worrying about tryin’ to get dates,
or rejections, or all that bullshit. We’re gonna enjoy the night together.
After all, we won’t have many more chances like this once summer’s over.”
They both go quiet for a moment, staring at each other and then away sadly.
Many of their friends are moving to different locations to go to school out of
State. Steve almost did, too, until he found out that Bucky was going to be
going to NYU. Then, of course, Steve had not-so-subtly accepted his offer from
the New York Academy of Art. Bucky hadn’t even pretendedto hide how happy he
was that Steve wouldn’t be leaving. But the idea of not being able to just call
up Natasha, or Tony, or Peggy, or Bruce, and just get together with them… It
was hard to wrap their heads around. They’d all been friends since elementary
school.
“Can you even dothat, though?” Steve asks quietly after another minute of
silence, trying not to get his hopes up. “I mean, we both know you’re
definitely gonna be voted Prom King.”
“We don’t know that,” Bucky replies humbly, but yeah, they both know it. His
biggest competition is Brock Rumlow, who’s one of the school’s typical ‘cool
jocks’. But Bucky’s loved by everybodyand somehow manages to be both a jock
andan artistic geek at the same time. His hands can pluck the strings of a
guitar or sculpt something from clay as effortlessly and as smoothly as he can
dribble a basketball or throw a football.
Bucky’s basically just perfect, is Steve’s position on the matter.
“Besides,” Bucky continues, once again pulling him from his thoughts, “there’s
no rule that says I gotta bring a date just ‘cause I was nominated. I can do
whatever I want. What’re they gonna do – not let me graduate?I’m an Honour’s
student.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Steve says, smiling. He’s starting to feel much better.
In fact, the conversation’s been so normal and comfortable that he’d actually
forgotten all about the videos… That is, until Bucky finishes his glass of
orange juice and then pushes himself from the counter, tugging his shirt over
his head.
Aaaand then Steve’s eyes fall to his unfairly perfect torso and he remembers.
Everything. In painful detail.He only just catches himself to stop staring when
Bucky glances back over to him, and that’s when Steve realizes that Bucky’s
been in his swim shorts the entire time. Bucky grabs their towels and tosses
one Steve’s way, as the blond follows him out to the backyard, once again very
much regretting this decision. He’s already half-hard again, and if he pops a
boner before he can disguise it in the pool, he’s going to be so fucking
busted.
Bucky’s always been a bit of a show-off. He tosses his towel onto one of the
lounging chairs and then breaks into a run; gaining momentum so he can throw
himself head-first into the air and do a front flip into the deep end of the
in-ground pool. He makes an impressive splash before his head rips from the
water’s surface and he’s using his hands to swipe his hair back and off of his
face. Steve almost groans – Bucky shouldn’t be allowed to do that. He also
shouldn’t be allowed to have his hair wet and slicked back like that. Orbe
looking up at Steve with that expectant, boyish grin like that either.
“C’mon, ya pussy – get in!” he hollers.
Steve realizes as he puts his towel down that he completely forgot to change
his glasses to his contacts while at home. And he sure as hell can’t swim with
them on; not unless he wants them getting all wet and annoyingly fogged up.
Then he’ll be rubbing at them all night. The alternative is that,
unfortunately, he’ll have to be partially blind. Sighing to himself, he opts
for blindness as he pulls them off and then heads towards the pool, squinting
to make sure he doesn’t miscalculate his footing and go plummeting in
unexpectedly.
Bucky notices and immediately gets out of the pool to come help him find his
way to the built-in staircase leading into the shallow end. Steve feels like an
idiot for needing help like this, but it wouldn’t be the first time. It’s also
a welcome distraction, so his body doesn’t go embarrassing him by getting any
unwanted erections. Luckily, that alsomeans he won’t need to see Bucky’s body
in all that perfect detail while they swim – so okay, this is good, he can get
through this.
Bucky’s always alsobeen a total shithead. The water’s colder than Steve
expected, and he’s a bit of a wuss when it comes to adjusting to it – he’s
always been a test the water with your toes and then ease your way inkind of
guy, whereas Bucky’s the cannonball straight into the deep end and get the
worst part over withsort of person. So it takes him a few minutes just to let
the water get up to his hips. Bucky, having been watching impatiently,
eventually comes splashing up behind him and tosses Steve over his shoulder.
Steve shouts and curses him, pounding at the brunet’s back with his fists,
until he starts yelling, “Put me down! Bucky! Fuckin’ stopit – I said, put me
down!”
“Alright, if you insist!” Bucky replies gleefully – and then chucks Steve into
the water.
Steve emerges and shouts, “Fuck you!” because fuck, this shit is cold – and he
can hear Bucky’s laughter, but now he’s also got water in his eyes and his
bangs matted over them, too, so he has no idea where to look. Kicking his legs
to remain afloat, he pushes his own hair back and then huffs, looking around
for Bucky, but it hadn’t really helped his sight all that much. He
reallyshould’ve remembered the damn contacts. And Bucky’s laughter has stopped
and he isn’t making a sound anymore, so Steve can’t find him at all.
“Buck?” he says. Nothing. Steve circles his arms and kicks his legs and spins
in a small circle, on guard. “Buck, don’t be a dick; where are you?”
Somewhere off to his left, he suddenly hears Bucky sing, “Duh-na…”
Then silence. A tiny sound of water splashing but then suddenly Bucky’s voice
is off to the right as he sings again, “Duh-na…”
“Bucky, don’t even fuckin’ think about it,” Steve warns.
Now the voice comes from somewhere off behindhim; Bucky must be doing all of
his swimming underwater so Steve can’t hear the movements. “Duh-na, duh-na,
duh-na,” he keeps singing mischievously, doing his best impression of the theme
song from Jaws.
“Buck--”
There’s a splash, and Steve spins around quickly in its direction. His pulse is
quickening with that adrenaline you feel when you watch a scary movie and
knowthe killer’s about to jump out – and he both hatesand loveswhen Bucky does
crap like this to him. He can mostly just see blobs and fuzzy shapes of
different colours, but none that resemble Bucky’s hair. Everything’s silent.
Steve opens his mouth again—
“DA NA NAAAAA!” Bucky suddenly shouts a split-second after Steve feels a splash
and realizes Bucky’s swum up literally rightbehind him. In an instant, Bucky’s
throwing his arms around him and tackling him into the water. Steve yelps with
surprise but is able to take a breath before his head is submerged. When they
come up for air, he hears Bucky start cackling maniacally, so he decides he
might as well put up a fight and try and break out of his grip.
They’ve wrestled like this a million times before… But somehow, in the
commotion, Steve overshoots his lung capacity and exerts himself waytoo much –
going from horsing around to suddenly panicking, as he struggles to breathe and
suddenly feels like he can’t keep his head above the surface. He can hear
Bucky’s voice, but his own gasping is too loud to be able to make out the
specifics of whathe’s saying.
All Steve knows is that onesecond, he’s thrashing, and the next, Bucky’s voice
is really close and he’s grabbing Steve and pulling him to his own body. He
gets Steve’s legs around his waist and guides him to throw his arms around
Bucky’s neck – and suddenly Steve finds himself in Bucky’s arms, with their
faces inches apart, and the feeling of Bucky’s arms tightly around his back and
their hips pressed together.
The onlyreason his dick doesn’t immediately get hard is due to the panic still
in his system, as well as the fact that with how tired he’s made himself and
how chilly the water is, his pathetically frail body probably couldn’t actually
get the proper blood flow for that right now. But that doesn’t make the
closeness any less terrifying at the moment.
He immediately stops fighting and stills. This close, and Steve can see Bucky’s
face much more clearly. Bucky’s staring at him with a startling amount of worry
in his eyes, and oh god, fuck,they’re so close that their noses are practically
touching. They have neverbeen thisclose in thisway before, and Steve has no
idea what he’s supposed to do or where this is supposed to head.
Bucky swallows – did his eyes just flicker down to Steve’s mouth or did Steve
just have a temporary stroke or something? – and then he asks, “Are you okay…?”
Steve just keeps staring at his eyes, his own baby blues slightly widened, and
gives a tiny nod. “Yeah…” he replies quietly. The confusion is soevident in his
voice. “I… Sorry about that…”
“No, uh…” Bucky clears his throat. He hasn’t looked away from Steve’s eyes.
“That was all on me. I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard.”
He also hasn’t let go of Steve, either.
For a split second, Steve wonders if they’re about to kiss. This is usually
what happens in movies rightbefore people kiss for the first time. And then he
realizes how stupidof a hope that is for him to have, and he feels like he’s
about to cry. He definitely doesn’t want Bucky to see that, so he breaks the
eye contacts and looks over to his towel, muttering, “I think I wanna get out
now, if that’s okay.”
“Oh… Yeah, yeah of course, buddy. Hang on.”
Bucky wades through the pool, across the shallow end until Steve can find his
own footing. Bucky makes sure to keep one hand gripping his arm and one splayed
flush in the middle of Steve’s bony back as he walks him up the stairs and
around the edge of the pool to grab their towels and Steve shoves his glasses
back on. For the most part, they stay silent as they head back into the house.
In the bathroom, Steve changes back into his pants and puts on a dry shirt he’d
brought with him, and even with perfect vision again, Steve chooses not to look
at himself.
When he heads back into the living room, Bucky’s got the TV on and is in the
middle of texting. He smiles over at Steve like nothing happened, but he
doesask, “Feelin’ any better?”
“Yeah,” Steve lies, throwing on a smile. He flops down on the couch, but subtly
tries to put some space between them – even though all he wants to do is get as
close as possible and breathe in Bucky’s scent, of shampoo and cigarettes and
lingering Axe body spray and chlorine. They’re quiet for a few minutes and just
stare at what’s on TV.
“You wanna order pizza or somethin’?” Bucky eventually asks.
Steve can’t help but be thankful and relieved that Bucky was the braver of the
two of them to re-initiate the conversation. He exhales, losing some of the
tension that’d been in his body, and answers, “Sounds great, I’m starving.”
---
Bucky’s mom gets home first, coming through the door with Bucky’s youngest
adopted sister, Amy. About twenty minutes later and his dad arrives with
Bucky’s adopted brother, Ben, and Bucky’s biological sister, Rebecca. Becca’s
only ten months younger than Steve, so they’ve always gotten along really well
and could chat with each other like regular friends do. Bucky had anticipated
them all coming home around that time, so when they’d ordered the pizzas,
they’d done so accordingly. They all eat together.
Around seven, there’s suddenly a bit of a commotion in the house and a lotof
unexpected running around, and Steve has no idea why. He and Bucky are hanging
out back in the living room and watching Family Guy, and Steve keeps glancing
over his shoulder to see one person or another striding past the door frame
every couple of minutes. He’s literally rightabout to ask what’s going on when
Bucky checks his phone and then casually says, “Shit, I totally lost track of
the time. I got an essay due for Mrs. Caldwell’s class tomorrow that I totally
left until the last minute; you mind if we call it an early night?”
“Huh?” Steve asks, looking over his shoulder again as Bucky’s mom walks in and
out of sight. He looks back to his best friend. “Oh, yeah, that’s fine. My ma
should be home soon anyways, so I can make her somethin’ to eat for when she
gets home.”
“Cool,” Bucky replies, getting off the couch. Steve follows suit. As they head
towards the front door so Bucky can see him out, the brunet adds, “Hey, maybe
we can make it up tomorrow or somethin’.”
“Sure,” Steve says, half-distracted. He’s watching Bucky’s mom try and gather
up Amy, who’s running across the front hallway in nothing but her diaper and
screaming gleefully, under the impression that what they’re doing is a game,
when--
He sees Rebecca come down the stairs wearing her Taekwondo uniform.
It’s…
Steve’s throat goes dry. How had he lost track of the day of the week?
It’s Thursday. Bucky doesn’t have an essayto write, he has…
“Steve,” Bucky repeats for the third time. This time Steve hears it and he
snaps back to look at him, looking startled.
“Huh?”
Bucky regards his face and then says slowly, “I asked again if you were okay
from earlier. Seriously, whatis up with you today? Is it still the prom thing?
‘Cause I thought--”
“Uh, yeah, sorry, m’still stuck on that,” Steve cuts in, waytoo casually. He
tones his expression down and shakes his head before giving Bucky an apologetic
look. “Sorry, I know I’m being weird today. I’ll be fine by tomorrow. I think I
just need a good night’s sleep.”
“Hmm… Okay, then make sure you do that,” Bucky says, squeezing Steve’s shoulder
and opening up the front door. “See ya bright and early, Rogers,” he calls
after him as Steve heads down the driveway towards his parked car.
But Steve knows… Those Buck Me videos are never done live, but Steve’s figured
out Bucky’s system based off of his uploading patterns; he must record each one
a week in advance, so that every Thursday, he uploads the one he’d recorded the
previousThursday, and then he filmsthe one he plans to upload the
followingweek. So, given that Becca’s lesson is in half an hour and his family
will probably be out of the house within the next ten minutes to drive there…
By the time Steve gets home, Bucky will probably already be up in his bedroom,
either uploading his pre-recorded video or in the process of startingon his
next one. Steve feels like he’s going to pass out.
“Yeah, see ya,” he forces himself to call back. But what he reallymeans to say
is, ‘See ya shortly.’
===============================================================================
Steve doesn’t know how he makes it through that night without dying, he really
doesn’t. 
He makes dinner for when his mom gets home, and then chooses to watch some TV
with her so he can distract himself from trying to imagine what Bucky’s doing
back at his place. Around nine, he can’t take it anymore, so he makes some
excuse about having homework to do, and heads downstairs to hole himself up in
his room.
For the first ten minutes or so, he stares at his opened laptop but hesitates
to check out Bucky’s profile. He isn’t sure why he’s suddenly so nervous; maybe
because this is the first time he’s actually partof Bucky’s viewing experience
in real time, and not just watching and catching up on all of the videos after
the fact. It could also have to do with still feeling guilty and like a bit of
a pervert somewhere deep down. Honestly, though, there’s also the part of him
that’s worried he’ll check and for whatever reason, nothing will have been
uploaded. That’sthe thing that makes him feel the scummiest.
When he finally does check, he’s elated and anxious that there isin fact a
brand new video – only been up for an hour and forty-six minutes, and it
already has three-thousand, eight-hundred and seventy-one views. Steve knew
that he was but one of a large handful of people who also see these videos, but
it still feels wrongand enragingsomehow. He feels like if anyoneshould be the
first (or the only) one to see something when Bucky posts it, it should be him.
Furthermore, whenever he watches, it’s impossible not to forget that, at the
exact same time, there are probably hundreds of others watching it, too.
Because in the moment, it always just feels like him and Bucky.
Bucky opens up the video by greeting his Bucksters – which Steve realizes he’s
also become and this is so fucking weird to him – and giving a very brief
overview of how he’s been over the last week, without getting into too much
specific detail. He looks happy, is all smiles, and Steve can’t help but think
back to the moment in the pool and yep, nowhe’s definitely erect and needs to
give it some tending to.
Steve’s eyes narrow with confusion when Bucky reads the request he’s decided to
try and drops a term that Steve’s never heard or seen before: “figging”. Bucky
laughs at the camera when he holds up a rather large ginger root in his hand –
the skin shaved off two-thirds of it and suspiciously shaped to resemble an
anal plug – and explains how difficult it’d been to hide it in the fridge from
his family during the week leading up to recording the video.
“I have to admit that I had absolutely no idea what this was when I first read
the request – sorry, InItToRimIt, but Idid look it up and have to say, I was
definitely intrigued,” Bucky says, eyeing the vegetable. Lowering it out of the
frame, he looks back to the camera and says, “For those of you who are like how
I was and have no fuckin’ clue what ‘figging’ is, it’s basically something used
in BDSM practices.”
(There go Steve’s eyes – bulging out of his head again.)
“The vegetable you just saw is a ginger root and basically, it’s gonna go up my
ass. According to what I’ve read online, I’ll experience an intense burning
sensation that can feel real fuckin’ uncomfortable at first – but also, like,
in a good way, I guess?”Bucky continues.“Apparently it’s strongest within the
first two to five minutes, and then I’d have to shave it down some more to get
fresh oils again, which is what makes it burn. But I also read that clenching
your ass down on it makes it feel even stronger and better, so… We’ll see how
it goes. Wish me luck.”
And then Steve proceeds to watch him do it… Watch Bucky strip off his boxer
briefs and get comfortable on his back… Finger himself open so he can work the
ginger root into his hole. Steve notices the flash of nerves on Bucky’s face
before he does it, and at this point, Steve isn’t wrapping his hand around his
cock – because he’s actually too busy being worriedabout whether or not this is
going to wind up hurtinghis best friend.
At first, that’s the impression he gets. When it’s finally inside of him,
Bucky’s staring down between his legs with a curious look and furrowed brows –
and then seconds later, grey eyes widen and then squeeze shut abruptly as Bucky
cries out, “Fuck!”and then tosses his head back. His hand free hand fists into
the blanket while the other keeping the ginger root in place starts to tremble.
Bucky’s whole bodysuddenly seems to be shaking, in fact. For a few seconds, he
keeps going back and forth between lifting his head back up to stare down and
then hissing through clenched teeth and throwing it back again. Whenever Steve
can see his expression, it definitely appears to be twisted up in pain. But
then, with his head hanging back and elongating the expanse of his throat,
Steve watches Bucky’s mouth fall open with a loud, ragged gasp. It just hangs
that way for a moment, and then Bucky gives a full-body twitch and suddenly
he’s crying out, hot and thick and definitelyaroused.
His head falls forward again and Bucky’s eyes are finally open now. It’s the
expression he’s wearing that makes Steve start to flush and have to give in to
touching himself – his best friend’s nose is scrunched up, jaw still slack, and
brows knit together. Bucky looks like he really hadn’texpected it to feel as
good as however it seems to be feeling for him, and then holy shit, he’s
grabbing his cock and beginning to tug hectically. The request hadn’t said
anything about jerking off, so what that means is that it feels strong enough –
even with the burning and the pain – that Bucky needsto get himself off, and
from the looks and sounds of it, it’s going to happen much sooner than usual.
The timing couldn’t have been any more perfect. After another minute and a half
or so of listening to Bucky start whimpering and then moaningand panting out
curses, to full-on crying out with every stroke over his flushed cock… After
watching Bucky writhe and throw his head back over and over – all the while,
keeping that ginger root crammed up inside of himself… Steve’s orgasm hits him
at the exact same time that he sees the tip of Bucky’s dick start spitting out
his own release. Bucky releases this genuinely confused, overstimulated sob,
and Steve just breathes, “Oh my god…” and pumps himself through his orgasm
harder.
After watching it sixmore times before he finally can’t keep his eyes open
anymore and goes through his routine of erasing all of the evidence from the
browser history, he feels confident that this installment definitelyties with
the strip tease video.
===============================================================================
A few weeks pass. Bucky continues to upload his two videos a week, and Steve
continues to work harder at pretending that everything’s completely normal.
Gradually, he becomes more convincing, to the point where Bucky stops asking
about it. Steve alsopretends to be none the wiser about the fact that Bucky
always has some sort of excuse as to why he can’t hang out on Thursdays while
his family is out at Rebecca’s martial arts lesson.
Steve watches the videos every night when they’re uploaded, and yeah, he
replays them a lot throughout the rest of the week in between updates. He also
starts to read the comments attached to every video, and finds himself just as
much (reluctantly) pleased at how respectful most of Bucky’s followers are
about him and what he does, as he’s furious at the small handful who talk to
Bucky like he’s nothing more than a hole to fuck.
Maybe it’s that mindset that makes Steve develop a deeper appreciation for his
best friend’s Monday night videos – the vlogs. Those ones are never sexual.
Though he obviously has a very deepsoft spot for the pornographic stuff, Steve
grows to actually preferthe vlogs because that’s when he just gets to watch
Bucky be Bucky. Carefree, laughing, charismatic Bucky – basically, who he
reallyis on a day-to-day basis – is Steve’s favourite person in the world.
The point of thosevideos is for Bucky to get answer questions sent in to him
that aren’tstrictly about sex; for his fan base to get to know him. Bucky’s
still careful never to give any information or names away that could reveal
anything toopersonal about his personal life (such as where he lives or who he
hangs out with, for example), but he actually does open up about a lot of
stuff. Bucky will sit there in each video and read out questions, or kind
comments sent to his inbox, and every time he does, he looks right into the
camera and has the most appreciative smile as he thanks that person. Steve can
tell that every single ‘thank you’ is genuine and heart-felt.
It’s a double-sided coin, though. On the one hand, he finds out a few things
about Bucky that he’s been wondering about since he found this profile. In
‘UPDATES FOR MY BUCKSTERS #4’, someone had asked him if he was gay, to which
Bucky had answered, “I don’t really feel like I adhere to a specific umbrella
term. I’m attracted to whoever I’m attracted to, regardless of what’s between
or not between their legs, y’know? And I feel like sexuality is so fluid; if I
say I’m gay but then down the road, were to fall in love with a woman – or vice
versa – then I’d be accused of never having been gay in the first place. It’s
really frustrating sometimes, how people try and have these set definitions and
rules for something that is based on something so intrinsic and complicated as
to how we feel andwant on the inside. I just… yeah. I lovepeople.”
And that had been one of the most profound and sensible things Steve had ever
heard; to have it be phrased like that. But it’s alsoreminded him of how
annoyed it made him that Bucky was sharing this was thousands of complete
strangers when he’d never even told Steve – about as much as he felt similarly
when, in update #8 when a follower asked how old Bucky had been when he’d
realized his views on his sexuality, Bucky (to Steve’s shock) had admitted to
having known since he was fourteen.Bucky had known he was into guys before
Stevehad discovered – and admittedto – the same thing.
Steve wishes he could confront Bucky about that part, but he’s sort of in a
position where he can’t. So he just hopes with every passing day that something
will make Bucky decide to open up to him about it.
On the whole, though, Steve grows to love these videos. And the more he does,
the guiltier he feels about the intense, filthythings Bucky does on camera for
his and all of these other peoples’ enjoyment.
That’s what makes him decide to take the leap and start paying for his own
requests. Turns out, it costs five bucks per request, which – given that Bucky
only picks one or two per video to fulfill but seems to get dozenson a weekly
basis – is even bettermoney in Bucky’s pocket. Fuck, the guy must be almost
finished saving up everything he needs for the upcoming year; not just for
tuition and supplies, but to get a place of his own in the actual city.
So Steve pays the five dollars and decides to give him something completely out
of the ordinary in comparison to what he must always usually get. Sure enough,
two weeks later, he watches Bucky’s seventeenth ‘#BUCK ME THURSDAYS’
installment, only for the video to start with Bucky giving the camera a strange
smile. The brunet looks slightly weirded out but also, in a way, touched.
“Hey Bucksters,”he begins. “So, I got something in my Inbox last week that I
just couldn’t really ignore – namely ‘cause it’s sort of fuckin’ weird compared
to what you guys normally submit to me. But…”He shakes his head and chuckles,
looking away. He seems to not know how to comprehend it. “I also thought it was
surprisingly nice, so… Apparently this week, you guys are gonna watch me light
up some candles, take a bubble bath, and just talk to you guys. Nothin’ sexual
– you have veste4 to thank for that.”
Steve’s ears burn and he gulps when Bucky looks back to the camera, gives a
tiny salute with his right hand, and says, “Even though it was sort of
unexpected, I’ve actually had a bit of a stressful week in terms of school
assignments and shit, so I needed to be forced to do somethin’ relaxing like
this. So, veste4, whoever you are, thank you.”
The following five minutes (since Bucky had cut and edited the video to jump
around during his bath and get rid of all of the ‘boring bits’), Steve can’t
erase the wide, lovesick smile on his face while he watches Bucky do exactly as
he’d requested: light up some candles, put his laptop on the closed toilet lid,
facing the bathtub, and then sit in the large amount of bubbles and relax while
chatting to the camera. Bucky talks about his day and, to Steve’s surprise,
tells a story about something he and Stevehad chatted about, without giving
Steve’s name away, of course. Bucky smiles the entire time he tells the story,
and when he absentmindedly lathers up some shampoo and styles his hair into a
sudsy Mohawk while he chatters away, Steve laughs to himself and falls a little
more in love.
So he keeps doing it. Bucky doesn’t take his requests everytime, which is
perfectly fine (Steve still loves to see the porn videos because come the fuck
on). But it gets to the point where Steve’s sending him at least two nice
requests every week and Bucky reveals in one of his vlogs that, “Whoever this
veste4 person is, they either have a heart of gold or theyreally don’t want you
all to see me touchin’ myself.”Bucky laughs and continues, “So I’ve decided to
add a third weekly video day for you guys, in the event that you like that
fluffier sort of thing, too. Starting this weekend, I’ll be adding ‘BUCK ME
SOFTLY SUNDAYS’, and it’ll be reserved for filling all these sappy,
nauseatingly sweet requests that this veste4 person keeps sending me. Veste4,
you should consider yourself lucky – I’m doin’ this just for you!”
It’s meant as a joke, but Steve doesn’t care. It doesmean a lot to him.
Steve tries to pick things that either aim to get Bucky to inadvertently
showcase the aspects of him that remind his followers that he’s morethan just
an object, or things that make Bucky pamper himself in some way. Sometimes,
Steve picks something completely useless, just to watch Bucky be adorably
awkward at it while the brunet tries to figure out how to make it sexysomehow.
Because he still doestry his best to cater it to the majority, which at the
very least involves him doing whatever Steve’s request is, in the nude.
Steve asks him to do things such as playing his acoustic guitar and singing, or
reading from one of his favourite books out loud; more baths happen, or filming
himself cooking dinner while his family’s out. Bucky does that completely naked
and Steve has to admit, it’s hilarious to watch while still being sexy.
But every day when they see each other, whether it’s at school or hanging out
afterwards, Steve’s always constantly wondering if Bucky will turn to him at
any moment and tell him he’s figured it all out. The more he thinks about it,
the more he wonders how pissed Bucky would be; if he’s only digging a deeper
hole and should stop what he’s doing. He doesn’t, exactly, but… the guilt is
enough to make Steve drastically reduce the number of requests he sends in.
By the beginning of June, he hasn’t even sent onein in over two weeks – and
he’s surprised when, on his Monday night vlogs, Bucky even makes a comment
about it; jokingly asking veste4 with an overdramatic pout if he’s forgotten
all about Bucky and found someone new to want to ‘love on’. Steve’s heart
clenches and he immediately sends him a request for another bath, with the
attached message, ‘Sorry, I just didn’t want to bother you, that’s all.’That
very Sunday, Bucky uploads a Buck Me Softly video of him taking a bath and
telling the camera with a warm little smile, “You could never bother me,
veste4; I love hearing from you. Thanks again, yeah?”
It’s reallytough not to say, “You’re welcome”, when Steve sees Bucky the next
morning at school.
===============================================================================
“Fuck! Fuck!This is horseshit…” Bucky keeps muttering to himself later that
week. Thursday, to be exact. He’s sitting on Steve’s bed with his back to the
wall; textbook off to his side and notebook in his lap. They’re both in the
same Advanced Chemistry class, but Bucky’s been struggling recently in their
second-last unit, Acid-Base Equilibria, so Steve offered for them to do their
homework together in case Bucky needed some guidance. He’s been stuck on trying
to wrap his head around the H^+ versus OH^- concentrations and everything each
one entails, and he keeps complaining about not getting the right answers to
the assignment’s mock test questions. His calculations keep being off and, from
the sounds of it, the numbers are starting to jumble together and not make very
much sense. 
Steve’s made camp on the floor, his opened books and scattered papers
surrounding him while he chews his pencil between his teeth. He’s already past
that unit, now reading ahead and learning about the very last section devoted
to Thermodynamics. Of course, he doesn’tshare this with Bucky because there’s
no need to rub it in or make Bucky feel more frustrated. He asks for about the
half dozenth time if he wants any help, but Bucky keeps waving him off
impatiently and insisting, “I’m fine, I’m gonna figure this out.”
So Steve just shrugs and goes back to reading. He’s so caught up in processing
the information on the page pertaining to entropy that he’s hardly paying
attention when Bucky huffs and throws his hands down in defeat, saying, “Okay,
yeah, I don’t even know what I’m lookin’ at anymore. I need a breather; you
think I can hop on your laptop for a bit?”
“Yeah, sure, it’s on my desk,” Steve replies distractedly, eyes still working
on finishing the line he’d been reading. The implication of Bucky’s request
doesn’t hit him until a few moments later, when his words finally sink in and
Steve sees Bucky out of the corner of his eye, getting back onto the bed with
the closed laptop resting on his inner arm. The panic that sets in is
instantaneous.
He’s been getting sloppier lately when it comes to not erasing his browser
history the momenthe’s finished watching Bucky’s videos – which means that, if
Bucky gets that screen open, the first thing he’s going to see his own profile,
on his own video, more than likely paused on his own body in a very revealing
position. The world feels like it’s spinning in slow motion as he stares at
Bucky in bewilderment and watches his sit back against the wall and start to
open the laptop up. Then he blinks and time moves normally again, and Steve’s
off the ground in a split second flat. Diving across the bed, he shouts, “Wait,
hold on!” and slams it back closed.
Bucky jumps and pulls his hands back, the quick action almost having resulted
in all ten of his fingers getting slammed and sandwiched in-between the screen
and the keyboard. “Steve, what the hell!?” he shouts with annoyance, watching
as the blond snatches the laptop away and moves to the other side of the room,
where he flips it back open with the screen facing awayfrom Bucky.
“I’m sorry – sorry,” Steve replies quickly. His face is burning bad and he
feels like a complete asshole, but what else was he supposed to do? He works
quickly, closing all the tabs before erasing the history again. He can feel
Bucky’s eyes on him the entire time, and even without having to meet his gaze,
Steve knows that Bucky’s grey eyes might as well just be question marks. Less
than thirty seconds later and he opens up a new tab and, by default, goes to
Google before he breathes out the air in his lungs and stops panicking.
“Okay… Uh… Here,” he says awkwardly, rising back up and depositing the laptop
next to Bucky’s legs.
Bucky doesn’t take it. His eyes are narrowed and he looks like he could start
badgering Steve for answers about as easily as he could get off the mattress,
hug him, and ask him with worryif he’s okay. He settles for asking, “And just
what the fuck was thatabout, exactly?”
Steve has to look away, he hasto. There’s guilt written all over his face and
he’s been made, Bucky totally figured it out, but still he just mumbles,
“Nothing, just… Forgot I had somethin’ open on there that was private.”
Bucky still looks at him skeptically, but this answer seems to ease some of the
annoyance in his features. His jaw slackens a bite and he just rolls his eyes
and picks up the laptop. Opening it up and starting to click away – Steve
assumes, hopes, prays to God he didn’t leave any traces behind and Bucky’snot
searching for them right now – he taunts harmlessly, “What – didn’t want me to
see your porn, Stevie?” Then he glances up at Steve with a small, smug smirk
and jabs, “Were you watchin’ porn the last time you used this thing?”
“Uh... yeah,” Steve answers, face flaring up even more. He chooses to go with
that because that means he’s not exactly lying – he’s just… picking and
choosing how much of the truth he tells Bucky.
Bucky pretends to be scandalized; gasps and sarcastically says, “Oh meoh my,
someonecall the Jerk-Off Police – Steve Rogers was watchin’ porn!”
“Shh!” Steve hisses, glancing at his closed bedroom door. The chances of his
mom overhearing them wasn’t high, but still…
Bucky, meanwhile, just keeps staring at the laptop. He shakes his head in mock
disapproval, tutting. “Thought you were better than that, Steve,” he says. “I
mean, this makes you the onlyperson in the world to ever use the internet for
porn. You should be ashamedof yourself.”
“Okay, Bucky, I get it,” Steve mutters flatly, now glaring at him.
Bucky gets a tiny, amused smile and then glances up at him. They both pause and
then Bucky says, “But come on, Steve, really – porn? That’swhat you were so
freaked out about me seein’? You looked like you were about to shit your pants.
Bit of an overreaction, dontcha think?”
“I said sorry,” Steve mutters, now feeling even morestupid. He stares down at
the ground and then sighs, shaking his head and going back to sit on the floor
and tryto distract himself with his homework. In reality, all he winds up doing
is reading the same sentence over and over again while daydreaming about how
much betterhe could’ve – and should’ve – handled that situation. Bucky doesn’t
say anything, but there’s the quiet, constant tapping away of his fingers on
the keyboard, so Steve assumes he’s chatting with one of their friends on
Facebook.
Or maybe he’s checking his messages on his otherprofile. Would he risk doing
something like that with Steve right there?
“Do you?” Steve eventually asks quietly, breaking the silence.
“Do I what?” Bucky asks, sounding preoccupied.
“You know… watch… like, porn.”
This is a horribleattempt at conversation at best, but Steve’s curious to see
if maybe by breaching the topic, Bucky might consider coming out and telling
Steve the truth about his ‘double life’. Frankly, Steve’s getting tired of
constantly having to be on edge and pretend he doesn’t know, and he can’t help
but wonder if Bucky ever wishes he could be open and honest about this side of
him. The only thing that Steve hates about all of this – and with every day, he
hates it moreand more – is that Bucky shares things with these strangers that
heshould’ve been the first to know about.
But Bucky just snorts softly, still staring at the screen. “I’m a guy – is that
a serious question?”
Steve knows Bucky isn’t purposely saying any of what he’s saying to make him
feel bad; in fact, their friendship has always been based on the mutual shit
and hard times they give each other – all done out of love and never seriously.
And yet, right now, Steve takes every last thing personally, and it stings.
Biting his lip and looking back down at his book, he says, “Forget it,” so
quietly under his breath that it’s almost inaudible.
Bucky seems to hear his deflated tone. “Steve? You alright? Hey, what’s gotten
into you – what’s the matter?”
When Steve peers back up, Bucky’s holding the laptop screen halfway closed so
he can look down to Steve with that concern back on his face. Steve shakes his
head and grabs his pencil and notebook in his hands again. “M’fine, just forget
I said anythin’,” he says, aiming for nonchalance. It sounds a lotmore
downtrodden than he means for it to.
Bucky puts down the laptop and before Steve knows it, he’s getting off the bed
and kneeling by his side, grabbing his wrists in gentle hands and saying, “No,
hey, don’t shut down on me like that--”
“I was bein’ stupid,” Steve mutters.
Bucky stops and blinks at him quickly a few times before setting his jaw and
saying, “Okay, you know what?” before grabbing the stuff from Steve’s hands and
dropping them to the floor. Tugging on Steve’s skinny wrist, he forces Steve to
his feet and then pulls him to the bed.
“Buck, I said--”
“Good for you, but we’re stillgonna talk about this.”
“I really don’t think we need to--”
“Steve, for fuck’s sakes, shut your yap and get on the damn bed.”
Steve’s cock pulses in his pants, at the words in themselves, mixed with the
commanding authority in Bucky’s voice. Sighing with a deep frown, Steve
begrudgingly goes and then sits with his back to the wall. Bucky plants himself
right next to him so the outside of their left and right legs, respectively,
are touching. Steve stares down at his hands but Bucky stares at him.
Eventually, Steve meets his gaze and then gives him an exasperated look and
says, “What.”
“How come you ain’t never talked to me before about this sort of stuff?” Bucky
asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Y’know – sex and stuff. Watchin’ porn. Questions you might have, or… just… you
know, bein’ dudesand talking about this sort of shit.”
Steve’s cheeks go a fresh shade of red and he looks back to his hands in his
lap. “I dunno,” is all he can come up with. He can’t go telling Bucky, ‘because
nine times out of ten, I’m fantasizing about you in one way or another – even
if I’m watching over people’.
“I assume you’ve never talked to your mom about it before?”
“Is thata serious question?” Steve retaliates.
Bucky gets a lopsided little smile. “That’s my point, Steve. You needto be able
to talk with someone about this. I just don’t know why you never felt like that
person could be me.”
I could ask you the same fuckin’ thing, pal.
“I dunno, I guess I just…” Steve chews the inside of his cheek and releases
another sigh. “I already feel bad enough about myself when it comes to girls
and shit – this sort of thing would’ve just made me feel even moreclueless in
comparison, because of you, like… bein’ so experienced and stuff.”
Bucky listens and gives a barely noticeable, sympathetic nod. “Where are you on
the whole ‘comin’ out’ front?” he asks.
Steve shrugs, frown deepening. “I dunno. School’s almost over so I don’t see
the point in that right now. I probably won’t hide it once I start fresh in
September.”
“I’m sure if you opened yourself up to it, you could find yourself a real great
guy who’d love you exactly for who you are,” Bucky suddenly says, and his voice
is unexpectedly softer. They’ve never talked about this all that much before
(Steve’s choice, of course), so it causes Steve to look over at him quickly; a
little wrinkle forming between his brows as they start to furrow. His heart
basically somersaults when he sees the way Bucky’s staring down at his own
hands, as if in deep contemplation. He also looks… a little sad, actually.
But then… Bucky looks over to him, and time stops. Breathing stops. Thinking
stops. Because the way Bucky’s staring into his eyes right now is so fucking
genuine and nakedand Steve’s never seen Bucky look at him this way before and
every rational part of his brain is trying to remind him that it’s nothing more
than wishful thinking…
“You’re amazing, Stevie,” Bucky murmurs – matter-of-factly, holding hands with
gentle,with just a hint of what sounds like awein there, too. Steve just stares
back at him, probably looking as lost and confused as he feels, and watches
Bucky’s eyes look up to his hair before sweeping across his face and passing
over Steve’s lips. Their gazes meet again and Bucky adds, “Don’t know how you
never see it…”
Now Steve’s breathing is quick and shallow, and he’s either going to pass out
or have an asthma attack. He wonders if he’s finally snapped; if he’s going
crazy when it feels like Bucky’s suddenly leaning in just the tiniestbit, and
Bucky’s eyes keep jumping back and forth between Steve’s mouth and his baby
blues – but Steve’s blatantly staring at Bucky’s slightly parted, pouty lips.
An alarm goes off on Bucky’s phone.
They both startle and impulsively, Steve uses the opportunity when Bucky looks
away to grab the blaring iPhone to lean a bit more in the oppositedirection out
of nervousness. He isn’t sure what exactly the brunet’s alarm says, but Steve
has an idea. It isThursday after all. Steve had been sort of hoping that, since
he was doing his homework atSteve’s, Bucky wouldn't have his usual excuse for
not being able to hang out, and then he either just wouldn’t leaveor he’d feel
compelled to open up to Steve about the site.
“What’s up?” he asks, playing stupid.
Bucky turns off the alarm, but keeps that easy-going expression on his face
while he swipes open his phone and starts to send a text. “Mm,” he hums, “I
gotta head back home; didn’t realize it was almost seven already.” He shuts off
the screen and sits up straighter to pull his sweater back on that he’d removed
earlier. When he catches Steve’s inquisitive look, he clarifies, “Becca’s going
for her Danbo belt next week, so she’d wanted me to come and actually watch one
of her lessons before her exam. I sort of owe her – I haven’t been to one since
she got her Brown II.”
“Oh, okay,” Steve says, forcing a smile. Bucky couldn’t have known that Steve
and Rebecca happened to chat about her martial arts lessons a few weeks prior,
since they always ask each other what’s new in their lives. Rebecca tested for
– and got– her Danbo belt lastweek.
Bucky pauses before getting off of the bed and looks back to Steve from over
his shoulder. “…You sureyou’re gonna be okay?” Bucky asks, alreadynot sounding
convinced.
“I told you, I was fine in the first place,” Steve replies.
“One of these days, you’re gonna stop feelin’ the need to lie to me,” Bucky
says casually, sticking his stuff back in his backpack. Steve rolls his eyes
and gets off the bed, picking up all of his strewn shit from the floor. “Yeah,
well, one of these days, you’re gonna accept the fact that you ain’t always
right,” he jokes.
He stands up and dumps his things onto his desk. When he turns around, Bucky’s
walking up to him. Steve holds his breath again, but all the older boy does is
reach out and squeeze his shoulder. “We aregonna start talkin’ more about this
kinda stuff, though… ‘kay? I don’t want you bottlin’ this up. This is the kind
of thing we shouldbe talkin’ about.”
“Okay,” Steve agrees, if only because he’s not going to go opening that can of
worms again right now.
“You knowyou can tell me anythin’, right?”
“Yeah, Buck. I know.”
“Okay,” Bucky says after a moment’s pause. He gives Steve a small smile and
then turns to head to the door, saying he’ll let himself out and Steve doesn’t
have to head all the way upstairs. They’re so far past formalities like that
that Steve just heads back over to his bed to get back on it. He stops.
Turning, he says, “Bucky?”
The brunet turns around halfway; one hand on the door frame. “Yeah?”
Steve chews on the corner of his mouth. “That goes both ways – you know that,
right? That you can tell meanythin’ too?”
He hopes to see a flash of something – anything – at this, but Bucky just looks
off and then gets a warm smile. Shooting Steve a side look, he replies, “I
know, buddy. See you tomorrow.” And then he heads out.
Steve stares at the empty door frame for a few minutes. He wishes Bucky hadn’t
left. He wishes he’d seen Bucky to the front door. He’s also glad to be alone.
And deep down, he’s got that dark thrill at knowing there’s going to be a new
video tonight. He flops down onto his bed and covers his face with his hands,
sighing loudly.
===============================================================================
The following Thursday night, Bucky uploads his newest ‘Buck Me’ update. When
it’s over, Steve can’t fathom everything he just saw and heard, so he plays it
a second time. 
“Hey there, Bucksters,”Bucky greets as per usual, waving at the camera and
grinning sweetly. “So, I went out and picked up somethin’ new, because a lot of
you guys have been telling me you wanted to see me fuck my ass with a vibrator,
so!”He reaches off camera, but before bringing it into frame, he catches
himself and looks back to the camera, exclaiming, “Oh! I completely forgot – I
have some exciting news. Okay, so… As you guys all know, all of my videos have
been pre-recorded.This one was even pre-recorded – I basically ran straight
home from my buddy’s place and here I am.”
(Steve’s lungs get tight and his hand starts clutching out over his night table
in search of his inhaler.)
“Anyways, because I recently just hit my tenthousandth subscriber, I felt you
all deserved something special as my way of saying ‘thank you’ to you all.
Guys, you’re all amazing, and your comments are amazing, and I just… Yeah.
You’re all the fuckin’ best, so…”His shoulders rise as he inhales and then he
lets it out loudly and announces, “Next week I will be recording and streaming
my showlive and willfinally be attempting a request I’ve been purposely putting
off formonths. Trust me, you’ll not gonna wanna miss it.”
Okay, so Steve had definitely heard that correctly the first time; Bucky’s next
show will be live. It’s both a little scary and exciting… It really willfeel
like he’s in the room, experiencing Bucky’s pleasure with him.
Unfortunately, so will thousands and thousands of otherpeople. Great.
He tries to force himself to forget about that when Bucky gets to the part
where he reveals the vibrator. It definitely looks like something Steve should
consider going out and picking up for himself. It’s an average side, with a
battery-packed handle that has two switches. The body transparent so you can
see the small, smooth balls jamming the vibrator full. When Bucky turns on the
first switch to demonstrate, it thrums to life and Steve can see the way the
tiny bearings jiggle and struggle to move around in there. They strain against
the flexible material of the vibrator and give it shifting, vibrating ribs. It
must feel amazingin your ass.
But then when Bucky turns on the secondswitch, the very top of the toy starts
swiveling, drawing a tiny circle in the air. Bucky’s eyes actually widen with
surprise and he exhales a laugh when he sees what that switch does – as if he’d
waited to check this thing out untilhe was on camera. Steve had his fist
stuffed in his mouth the first time he watched the next part, because he
deliberately didn’t want to jerk off right away. Instead, it’d built up the
pent-up tension and frustration, so when he watches Bucky lying on his back and
prepping himself with two fingers to pave the way for the toy, Steve physically
can’thold back anymore.
Another thing Steve’s veryfamiliar with, even though he’s never done any of
these things with someone else, is his own ass. He’d showered earlier in the
evening so he knows he’s all clean down there, and as he watches Bucky’s lubed-
up fingers play around in his tight little hole – listens to Bucky’s sounds
that never fail to make Steve breathless – he gets some slick on his own
fingers so he can start by fingering himself in tandem while his other hand
plays with his balls.
His favourite part of the video isn’t when he watches Bucky slowlyease the
vibrator into his ass for the first time – although that part is pretty fucking
great. But that’s really no different than when he’d seen Bucky use the dildo.
No, the part that makes Steve’s vision go fuzzy is the moment when Bucky first
turns it on – making the only thing that separates a vibrator from a dildo is
what it can doto you with a quick flick of your thumb.
Bucky’s body jolts in surprise as the vibrating sound fills the room, and he
stares down at it as his mouth falls open and a breathless little laugh escapes
him. “That… Heh… Tickles a bit, actually,”Bucky jokes breathlessly. He
readjusts a bit, spreading his legs wider so the camera has the best angle, and
then experimentally turns it up to the next setting. He breathes out a small,
“Ah,” and lets his head fall back. Just for a moment, though; then it’s rolling
back down in a half-circle so Bucky can watch his hand start fucking the toy in
and out of himself.
Bucky’s already breathing heavily – his bare chest rising and falling a little
faster – and he keeps tipping his hips around as if he’s debating on whether or
not to thrust against it and meet the movements of his hand. When he pants out,
“Two more strengths – think I should just forego the third and go straight to
the strongest one?”Steve knows what’s coming – and yet it isn’t any less hot
when that’s exactly what Bucky does. The vibrations instantly get louder, and
Bucky breathes out a surprised moan before letting his head fall back again and
exhaling a mixture of a chuckle and a loud groan. Steve’s top teeth are digging
so painfully into his bottom lip that he thinks he can taste blood, and nowhe
starts stroking his cock, while his right hand works a third finger into his
ass.
Bucky repositions himself two more times in the video, just for the viewers’
enjoyment. This video is unusually longer than the other ones, clocking in a
few seconds shy of seventeen whole minutes. Around a quarter of the way through
and Bucky turns onto all four so he can point his ass directly at the camera,
lower his front to the bed, and use one hand to reach around and fuck himself
with the toy that way. Steve’s grown to learn how Bucky sounds when he’s crying
out without the blanket covering his bed wedged between his teeth and when it’s
just allBucky.
When there’s about five minutes left, Bucky lies down on his back and brings
his legs to his chest, bent at the knees. This gives the brunet a really nice
grip and leverage to fuck his hole harder and faster than in the last position.
Steve’s reallyreaching; curling his fingers and keeps grazing his prostate
while the slit of his cock drools out so much precome that the flurry of his
fist over the length is wet and obscene. Every time he stimulates that walnut-
sized sweet spot inside, he gasps, loud and shaky and all for Bucky.
He knows he isn’t going to last much longer, and sure enough, when Bucky
remembers the second setting and flicks it on, Steve can’t seethe tip of the
vibrator start twirling around inside of his best friend but oh fuck, he can
only imagine – and if Bucky’s response is any testament to how perfect it must
feel, then yeah, Steve’s going to get himself one of those things. Because
Bucky’s back bridges off the mattress and then slumps back down, but he’s
fucking his ass faster, and his moans are turning into criesuntil Bucky’s doing
nothing but repeating, “Ah! Ah! Oh! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Mm! Fuuuuck! Ah! Oh my…
oh my God, I… Mm… Oh,fuck!”
And then he grabs his erection in his other hand and starts pumping it fast.
Steve hits his climax before Bucky. Whining his in his throat as he always
seems to when he comes these days, he continues to assault his prostate with
the tips of his fingers as it swells beneath his touch, before his cock erupts
in his other hand, dirtying up his abdomen. Seconds later and he watches Bucky
come; going visibly tense and then shuddering all over as he clenches his
teeth, squeezes his eyes shut, and groans languidly. Goddamn, he’s always so
enchanting to watch when he falls apart. The most beautiful thing in the
fucking world.
This was around the point where Steve had stopped the video, only to restart it
at the beginning. Normally Bucky just lies there, panting and staring at the
ceiling for a few seconds, before making light conversation while he’s still
covered in come, and then parting with his usual wave and farewell. He’s just
too physically weak at the moment – his fingers still buried inside of himself,
only immobile now – to press the ‘Stop’ button.
Bucky turns off the vibrator and eases it out of his ass. Then he just lies
there, catching his breath. He gets a small smile on his face. But a slightly
strange expression also washes over his features; like he looks confused and
surprised with himself. Between large gulps of air, he lolls his head to the
side so he can peek over at the camera and explain, “I almost… Heh… I almost
shouted someone’s name when I came just now…That would’ve been embarrassing,
thank fuckin’ god I didn’t, huh?”
And just like that, Steve’s heart completely sinks out of his rib cage, out his
back, through the bed, past the floor, and down, down, down into the earth.
Bucky had been thinking about someonein particular while he’d done that. That
means, he’d left Steve’s house the previous Thursday, went straight home, and
got himself off to thoughts of… some assholethat Bucky didn’t even feel the
need to tell Steve about, much like everything else Steve’s discovered lately.
He suddenly doesn’t feel very good. Haphazardly wiping off the hand that’d been
gripping his cock, he closes out of the browser altogether and then slams the
laptop shut.
===============================================================================
Steve stays home from school the next day. He tells his mom that he has a
stomach ache and, given Steve’s medical history and the fact that he rarelyever
uses illness as an excuse not to go to school, Sarah Rogers gives him her
permission. He spends the day in bed, sleeping on and off, and refusing to go
on his laptop. When the urge becomes too great, Steve brings it upstairs and
dumps it in the living room before heading back down and crawling back into
bed. 
The entire gang texts him all day to make sure he’s alright. Bucky texts him
nineteen times, starting as early as eight forty-five in the morning. He asks
Steve if he’s okay, he tells him to take a bath or eat some soup; he also tells
Steve that he’ll beat the crap out of him if his punk ass doesn’t get better,
and asks if Steve would like for him to come over once school’s done.
Steve doesn’t answer any of them. Bucky doesn't drop by.
===============================================================================
He also doesn’t get together with Bucky that weekend, either. They were all
planning to go to the movies Saturday night and then grab a bite to eat
afterwards. Bucky was going to crash at Steve’s. Steve feels bad that he bails,
but he claims to still not be feeling well, and they all understand. Bucky
keeps texting him and by Saturday morning, Steve doesstart replying again. (He
apologizes for the day before and covers it up by claiming to have slept most
of it away, so he hadn’t checked his phone.) 
Bucky offers to skip the movie too and just come over. I can bring over Dragon
Age or some movies or something, he says. Bring the party to you :)
Steve thanks him but tells him he’d rather just sleep it off. To his surprise,
Bucky texts back, Then I’ll bring over Dragon Age or some movies and just watch
them MYSELF while you sleep. Your bed IS big enough for 2, you know.
Steve tears up; feels his throat get tight with guilt and hurt and anger at the
world for how it always seems to shit on him regarding things like this. It’s
physically painful for him to have to turn an offer like that down. But he
sticks to his guns and he does – thanking Bucky again for the offer but
insisting that he’ll just see him on Monday, and to say hi to everyone for him.
Then he just stares at the phone and watches the typing icon pop op and
disappear, pop up and disappear, pop up and disappear, like Bucky’s struggling
to figure out what to reply. Then it pops up again and stays there for almost a
minute, and Steve’s starting to grow nervous at the novelBucky must be writing
him…
It disappears again. A half-minute later and Bucky just texts back: Okay, if
that’s what you want. Feel better. TTEOTL.
Steve types back quickly, TTEOTL, and presses ‘Send’ before he can talk himself
out of it, before turning off his phone all together and burying his face back
into his pillow.
He just needs to be alone.
---
By Sunday, he resolves that he has no right to feel upset by what he’s seen,
because it was never any of his business to see it in the first place. And
Buckydoesn’t deserve to be avoided or bailed on just because Steve’s a coward
and can’t seem to face his feelings. So, he decides that he needs to try and
make things go back to the way they used to be – before he ever found out about
those videos. He can’t bring himself to cancel his subscription just yet, but
he doesmake a point not to watch whatever video Bucky posts that night, even
though those ones are meant just for him (regardless of whether  or not
Buckyknows that, too).
He doesn’t hear from Bucky until the later afternoon, when his phone buzzes in
his pocket while he’s out at the grocery store with his ma. Hope you’re feeling
better. We missed you last night,it reads. Steve knows he was missed; he’d
woken up to about forty-nine messages from all of his friends bombarding him
with texts – some, just to annoy him lovingly, and others, to keep asking if he
was alright. It’d taken him nearly twenty minutes to reply to them all.
He texts Bucky back: feeling better today, thx. wanna grab a bite to eat or
something after school tomorrow?And can’t help but get a little, sad smile to
himself when Bucky replies not even ten seconds later with, :D Fuck yeah I do.
===============================================================================
Steve puts on his brave face and gets himself through the majority of the
school week without any suspicions raised. It turns out, he’s a much better
actor than he’d ever given himself credit for, because Bucky doesn’t seem to
suspect a thing. They grab sushi on Monday and then walk around, chatting,
until Bucky says he has to go home and do some math homework. Steve knows he’s
lying but forces himself not to care. He doesn’t watch the update that night. 
Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday at school show a change for the better in
their friendship, in that Steve feels like it’s pretty much gone back to
normal. He still sneaks too many glances at Bucky in the mornings before class
when everyone’s talking in the cafeteria, and he still jerks himself off in the
shower to thoughts of Bucky. He just tries to will them to be more like the
fantasies he’d had beforethe videos.
He’s fakingmost of his behaviour lately, but Bucky seems to be happy, so Steve
is, too. Fake it until you make it, he guesses... Hopingthat a day will come
when he won’t have to be pretending anymore; that he’ll be able to get over
Bucky and move on so his heart doesn’t always clench when they’re together. But
then Thursday evening comes. And the thing is, Steve had every intention of
shutting down his account and not watching the ‘#BUCK ME THURSDAYS’ update.
But… This is theshow. Bucky’s first live video, and apparently doing something
pretty outrageous. And… well… Steve’s only human.
So he waits until seven twenty-five that night and then climbs into bed and
goes to Bucky’s site. He has his bottle of lube on the night stand but he’ll
wait as long as he can to use it. He usually watches Bucky’s videos naked, or
at least with his shirt off and his pants down to his ankles. Tonight, he keeps
everything on, in the hopes that maybe it can deter him from actually touching.
At exactly seven-thirty, the live feed begins and there’sBucky, sitting in his
room, shirtless as always and smiling at the camera. “Hey there, Bucksters!
Welcome to my very first ‘Buck Me Thursdays’ live video feed,”he starts
charmingly. He leans back in his chair and spreads his arms out, gesturing to
the rest of his bedroom. “I come to you tonight from my humble little bedroom,
in the State of I’m Not Going to Say, but for the…”(He checks something on his
screen.) “Eight-thousand, three-hundred and fifty-three people – holy
fuckin’shit, guys, heh,wow… Okay, um… Yeah, right, to all of you logging in
with me here tonight, I wanted to let you know that this upcoming Monday, my
vlog willalso be live because I’ll be makin’ a very special announcement. So,
y’know, tune in with me then and stuff.”
He smiles and rubs his hands together. “Okay! So, I’m sure you may be wondering
what exactly I have in store for you all today, given what I said last week, so
maybe it’ll make a bit more sense if I justshowyou…”
He proceeds to reach for something out of frame and then start killing himself
laughing as he retrieves it. Steve frowns with confusion before his eyes widen
– Bucky, still laughing, holds up one of the biggestdildos Steve’s ever seen.
It has a very tiny, circular suction base, but other than that, it’s all
rubber, shaped to look like a cock (veins and all). He also notices, for the
first time, that Bucky’s blushing.
“Uh… Heh… Alright, so… BuckingBronco6477 sent me a request back in February for
me to try this thing out,”he explains, holding it out so the camera gets a
better shot of it. “This is called the ‘Realistic Bam Cock’ – it’s fourteen-
and-a-half inches long and eight inches around. So basically, a gigantic
fuckin’ monster that I haveno idea how I’m gonna get to fit in my ass.
“I’m gonna be honest: I actually went and ordered this thing the night I got
the request, because I like having things up my ass – what can I say? And when
I saw the measurements online, forsome reason my brain was a fuckin’ idiot and
thought, ‘Oh, hey, that can’t bethat big…’”He lowers the toy out of frame and
then leans his face closer to the camera, saying right in it, “Well guess what,
ladies and gentlemen: it very well fuckin’is. I got this thing in the mail a
couple weeks later, took one look at it, and went, ‘Nope!’ But recently I gave
it more and more thought and decided that this is something I’d really like to
try. So, the request in full, is for me to get this guy into me, jerk off until
I come, and then lick everything up. Think I can do it?”
(Steve is gritting his teeth so hard that his temples are throbbing. His dick’s
scraping uncomfortably against his zipper and he wants to undo the fly so badly
but he’s still trying to hold off.)
That turns out not to last very long at all.He proceeds to watch Bucky finger
himself to the point where he’s forcing the tip of his thumbto join the other
four fingers so he can get his muscled prepared enough for the dildo, and that
alonehas Bucky gasping for air and becoming covered in sweat; flushes from his
face all the way down to his hard cock lying against his lower belly. Then
Bucky spends almost thirteenminutes tryingwork the lube-covered dildo into his
body, but because he’s trying to push it in himself, his instincts keep kicking
in and making him stop when the intrusion becomes too much.
And yet somehow, Bucky’s erection hasn’t flagged yet, so neither has Steve’s,
and eventually, Steve can’t take any more of his best friend’s loud, pained
groans, so he yanks his pants down to his knees and shoves his hand down his
boxers.
“This isn’t gonna fuckin’ work,”Bucky says with frustration after another
minute or so. He checks his phone and mutters a curse softly under his breath.
Looking back to the camera, he sits up, abandoning the efforts and just holding
the long, thick toy in his hand. “I don’t have all night to try and make this
happen, but I think I might have an idea,”he says. “You’ll have to let me stop
the video though – but just for a few seconds. I have to switch to my laptop.”
The video cuts out, but sure enough, he’s back less than a minute later. As he
walks down the hallway, he explains to the viewers that he’s going to try
letting gravity do some of the work by securing the dildo’s suction cup to the
rim of his bathtub and lowering himself down onto it that way. Once in the
bathroom, he puts the toy how he wants it and then slicks it up with more
lubricant. He places the laptop on the closed toilet lid, facing the tub, which
then Bucky steps into. This puts his back to the camera but gives the best
angle for seeing his ass. 
Steve suddenly finds himself reallyhoping he’ll get to see Bucky make this
work.
It takes what feels like forever, but Bucky eventually does. He has to give
himself nearly another ten minutes justto take the entire length into him (with
the first three minutes devoted to nothing else but forcing the head to push
past his stubborn rim), but he’s eventually fully seated on it.
It’s without a doubt the hottest thing Steve’s ever seen.
Bucky’s hole is stretched wider around that thing that Steve thought physically
possible. Bucky’s shaking so hard that, at one point, the brunet tries to
clutch for something and winds up knocking a bunch of shampoo bottles over.
Steve wishes he could see his face, because the noiseshe’s making are
absolutely wrecked – whimpering and whining and sobbing and everything sounds
wobbly, and Bucky can’t even form proper words. He’s worked himself up so much
that his back is soakedwith sweat, and Steve wants to rush over to Bucky’s
house, burst into that room, and lick it all up.
Bucky triesto move – to lift himself up so he can start fucking himself on it –
but he quickly stills and just lets out another truly whorish sound. He sounds
like somebody’s little submissive bitch; desperate for that cock but not sure
if he can take it. Finally,he forces himself up and then so slowlysinks back
down, and fuck, Bucky’s practically screaming and Steve thinks his best friend
is crying, but he’s also moaning,too…
And it hits him again, how if he drove over to Bucky’s right now, he could just
let himself in and he’d find Bucky just like this, all falling apart and fucked
out and strung to pieces, and Steve could just grab his face and kiss him while
he fucked his ass with that gigantic dildo… Make those noises against Steve’s
lips…
Steve comes suddenly, powerfully; throws his head back into his pillow and
dirties up the inside of his underwear. His baby blues roll back into his head
and for a few seconds, his lungs feel like they’re on fire because he just
can’t breathe, and he comesand comesand comes… Bucky’s sounds guiding him
through it and resulting in one of the strongest climaxes he’s ever had.
When he finishes, he just stares at the screen, panting loudly, and continues
to watch. Bucky eventually gets all the way off so he can turn around a bit and
pull off a really impressive new position. He faces the camera but then braces
one heel against the toilet bowl – right below and off to the side of the
laptop, while he spreads the other as open as he can and puts his foot on the
floor. The dildo has the mobility to lean in different directions, since the
suction at the base is impressively good. So what Bucky does is: face pinched
up, mouth hung open, eyes squeezed shut, and pain and pleasure written all over
him, he lowers himself backdown onto the dildo and cries out hoarsely. Then,
making broken sounds in his throat with every exhale, he looks behind him and
leans himself back so he can put his hand on the back edge of the tub and hold
his weight.
This way, he can still fuck himself off of the dildo and the viewers can see
his face, but also having his body tilted back a bit and his ass lifted, making
the toy stretching and filling his hole still plainly visible. Bucky puts his
other hand around his dick, which is admittedly a little wilted by now, and
starts trying to stroke it back to full hardness.
Steve doesn’t know where he’s supposed to look. He suddenly wishes he had
foureyes so he could be staring at that hypnotic upand downslide over the
dildo, over and over… But Bucky’s face is like nothing Steve’s ever seen, not
even in any of his other videos. It’s like the onlytether of Bucky’s sanity
left is being used to keep himself held up and his body moving. Other than
that, Steve’s neverseen somebody look sogone. When Bucky’s bottom lip quivers
and he whimpers out, as if to himself, “Mm, ah! It… It hurts…” while he
continues to fuck himself and fuck his fist over his cock at the same time,
Steve’s amazingly half-hard again. He’d never removed his hand after coming the
first time, so he just picks up where he left off and begins to stroke it
again.
Bucky has to stop himself every few thrusts with his hips to still and put all
of his focus into his cock. Steve isn’t so sure that his friend’s going to be
able to get it fully up again, but he’s proven wrong when it finally happens a
few minutes later. Then Bucky’s reallyletting his ass have it, and his skin is
sosweaty, and his hair is matted to his face, and the soundshe keeps making… oh
God, the sounds…
Bucky comes before Steve can for the second time. It’s so strong that Bucky
actually has to let go of his spurting cock and put the other hand behind him
too so he can steady himself and just let his erection go off all on its own as
it streaks his stomach and chest. That almostpushes Steve over the edge, but
what reallydoes it is when Bucky has to straighten himself back up and sit all
the way downon the dildo now that he’s extremely sensitive, and watch him
whimper and wince quietly while he wipes up the come from his front and lick it
clean off his fingers, streak by streak. Steve has to grab his other pillow and
shove it over his face to muffle the scream heunleashes when his second orgasm
finally rips through him. It’s the loudest he’s ever been.
===============================================================================
True to his word (with himself), Steve deletes his account and unsubscribes
from Bucky’s site. It’s pathetic that it’s probably the hardest decision
Steve’s ever had to make. He got to see the ‘big live show’ and it was worth
every second, but it’s not something he can stomach anymore. Not the fact that
Bucky’s doing it – just the fact that he has to share him with all of these
other thousands of strangers, and Steve can’t have Bucky in general. 
Admittedly, when he goes over to hang out at Bucky’s that Saturday, it’s only a
littletough to look him in the eye at first, but he pushes it down and forces
himself to get over it. Bucky’s parents have taken Amy and Ben to visit their
grandparents for the weekend, and Becca’s staying at her friend’s place for the
night, so they have the house all to themselves. That means a night of pizza,
beer, other unhealthy, processed food, movies, and video games.
Normally they don’t order their pizzas until around nine at night, but that
usually means that Steve’s peckish around the six o’clock mark. He heads into
the kitchen to rummage through Bucky’s fridge and make himself a sandwich. When
he asks if Bucky wants one, the older boy says yes and follows him.
They chat about random shit while Steve fishes out the cold cuts and whatever
condiments he feels would taste good right about now. Prom’s the following
weekend and Bucky’s grinding Steve’s gears for stillnot having picked up his
suit, so Steve gives in and says they can go pick it up tomorrow. He hasn’t
seen what Bucky’s going to be wearing yet, either, but he’s excited. Whatever
it is, Bucky will look incredible. At his best friend’s suggestion, both he and
Steve have coordinated their look to include the colours black, blue, and red –
at least to some degree. Steve hadn’t argued; he could trick himself into
feeling like they were actually going together that way.
Steve kicks Bucky off the counter so he can use the space to make their
sandwiches. Bucky hops off and then switches places with him, going over to the
fridge and leaning against it while they continue chatting. Steve has his back
to Bucky, so he doesn’t notice how Bucky’s playing with the alphabet magnets
scattered across the front of the door.
“Did you want any mayo on yours?” Steve asks, putting some on his own bread.
“Hmm?”
Steve repeats the question, but again, Bucky dumbly asks, “Sorry, what?”
Steve rolls his eyes and snaps back as he looks over his shoulder to him, “You
fuckin’ deaf or somethin’? I said…”
His face falls and goes blank, save for his eyes, which grow wide and scared –
even though Bucky’s still leaning against the fridge, arms folded, and
smirkingat Steve. On the freezer door, spelled out in colourful fridge magnets,
is veste4.For a second, he tells himself that he’s dreaming and that he’ll wake
up at any moment. When he doesn’t, he considers breaking out into an apology
and trying to get out as much as he can before Bucky freaks out on him. He also
considers turning on his heel and booking it from the house. Except he does
neither of those things, because he’s rooted on the spot with fear.
For whatever reason, Bucky’s stillsmirking. He turns his head and looks to the
word and then looks back to Steve. “Veste4 – not a bad name; definitely not bad
at all. Except that, one, that had been your handle back when we first started
playing Halo--”
Shit, Steve had totally forgot about that –him, with his impeccable memory…
“And secondly, even if I hadn’t remembered that, it’s a fuckin’ anagramfor your
name, Steve. And the four? Just the icing on the cake. Seriously, dude, did you
put anyeffort into that at all?” Bucky teases. Steve is so confused... can't
believe this is happening.
“I… couldn’t think of anything else…” Steve answers slowly, stupefied.
Bucky uncrosses his arms but doesn’t move from where he’s standing. “Go ahead,”
he then says.
“Go ahead… what.”
“Ask me what I know is on your mind,” Bucky says. “Ask me how long I’ve known.”
Steve swallows. “How long?”
Bucky’s grin widens, and there’s definitely fondness there. “I got a suspicion
when you kept sending me in all those grossly adorable requests. Seriously,
Steve, I’ve had people pay just to ask me to trying fistingmyself, and suddenly
this brand new subscriber is sending me request after request to take an
unhealthy amount of bubble baths?To play my guitar and sing? Sort of like, this
person knewI could… But I didn’t wanna go assuming nothin’.”
Now Bucky starts to walk towards him, approaching unassumingly and slow.
Steve’s still staring off, his face a portrait of shock, to the point where
he’s hardly even blinking. He can feel Bucky coming closer, so he turns so his
back is pressed to the counter but then he doesn’t know where he’s supposed to
go running. His brain doesn’t seem to want to power his limbs at the moment, so
he just continues to gape and stare off.
“When I reallyknew, though, was that night at your place – the one when you
freaked out about the laptop, remember?” Bucky asks quietly. He’s inches away
from Steve but still coming closer. He stops when their legs are just barely
touching. “Ran straight home and filmed that vibrator video just ‘cause I hoped
you’d be watching… Same with the live one…”
Steve wants to look at him, but everything’s moving so fast and none of what
Bucky’s saying makes any sense. But then Bucky steps in and gets rid of all
that negative space, pressing their hips together as he brings up his arms and
leans forward to grip the counter – essentially caging Steve where he stands.
Bucky hunches down and Steve finally looks up at him. Bucky brings his lips so
fucking close, and Steve isn’t sure if he’s breathing anymore, but then the
older boy grazes them teasingly along his cheek bone until they’re pressing
lightly to the shell of Steve’s ear.
“How many times did you make yourself come to that video, Stevie? Did it feel
good… hmm? Did you ever wanna say my name while you fucked your fist?” he
whispers; voice like gravel.
Steve’s shaking. Bucky keeps his cheek next to Steve’s – his lips ghosting in
front of his ear - and Steve can see from the corner of his eyes, Bucky’s right
hand let go of the counter. Suddenly, Bucky’s sliding his fingers along Steve’s
neck horizontally before clasping the side of it in a possessive grip, stroking
the pale skin with his thumb. Steve wonders if this is what being on fire feels
like. He’s so fucking hard in his jeans.
“It’s okay, Steve, I’ve got you,” Bucky whispers. “Breathe for me… Breathe for
me and tell me when the last time you touched yourself while thinkin’ of me
was.”
“Buck…” Steve whimpers breathlessly, trying to get some sort of pity from his
best friend. This is indeed absolute torture. Bucky shifts his hips a bit so
Steve can feel the hard outline of Bucky’s cock pressing against his lower
belly when Bucky pushes in close again. Steve gasps. His hands come up and
clutch Bucky’s sides.
“Tell me…”
Steve tries to think through the heat and electricity clashing in his brain.
“Right before I… came over,” he forces out.
“Oh God, Stevie,” Bucky growls. He bites Steve’s lobe and the blond gasps
again, stuttering out a small cry. “Say my name again, just like how you did
before…”
“Buck…?” Steve tries, not sure if he’s replicating it properly. Bucky corrects
him by wedging his thigh between Steve’s legs unexpectedly and grinding it
against Steve’s erection. Steve cries out and jolts, and then whines, “Buck…”
“Fuck, yeah, that sounds so perfect,” Bucky says breathlessly, trailing his
lips back across Steve’s jaw. “Been wondering how that’d sound in that voice of
yours since I was fuckin’ fourteen--” He cuts himself off by exhaling loudly
and crushing their lips together.
Bucky tastes like everything Steve ever hopedhe’d taste like – but above
everything else, in this moment, he tastes like passion.Steve practically goes
boneless as he moans; lips parting when Bucky coaxes them open with his tongue,
and then moaning louderat the hot, wet feeling of Bucky’s tongue sliding into
his mouth and meeting his own. He’s worried that he’s totally garbage at what
they’re doing, but between taking Steve’s face in his hands and tilting his own
to the other side, Bucky says huskily, “I thought you’d never made out with
nobody before.”
“I haven’t,” Steve pants back, and then moans again, high in his throat, when
Bucky’s mouth reclaims his so powerfully that it’s like he works his way right
up into Steve’s brain and takes over – making everything Steve’s ever known or
couldknow nothing except Bucky Barnes.
“Wow… So you’re just perfect all over, ain’t ya?” Bucky chuckles.
Steve’s brows furrow as he squeezes his eyes shut tighter; throwing his arms
around his best friend’s neck and chasing his mouth back. Bucky groans and
kisses him with fervor, blindly reaching out and shoving the stuff for the
sandwiches off to the side. Grabbing beneath Steve’s ass, he picks him up and
sits him on the counter. Steve immediately wraps his legs around Bucky’s waist,
desperate to have him as close as possible.
Steve has no current concept of time, so it could be minutes or hoursthat they
stay where they are; kissing, sucking, and biting at each other’s lips. Steve
can’t touch Bucky enough, but when he eases his legs up so he can grab two
handfuls of Bucky’s ass through his jeans and squeeze, Bucky grunts into his
mouth and starts grinding his hips between Steve’s legs – and Steve thinks
where his hands are now is just perfect.
This is everything Steve’s ever wanted. Buckyis everything Steve’s ever wanted.
And apparently Bucky’s known for at least a month or so - that means that every
video he’s done in that time has probably just been all for Steve, too -
regardless of the rest of the world who had also watched. Bucky grabs his hair
and yanks Steve’s head back so he can kiss noisily down the arch of his throat,
giving it a rough bite. Whenever he does something that makes Steve cry out,
Bucky moans, as though that was his only mission in life.
Steve’s too dazed to comprehend what’s going on when Bucky suddenly breaks away
and looks at Steve heatedly. His hair’s messy from Steve’s fingers carding
through it, and his lips are cherry red and swollen from Steve’s kisses. He can
only guess that his own pupils are as blown as Bucky’s; his lips, just as plump
and bright and spit-slick.
Bucky tugs on his wrist to signal for Steve to get off the counter. The moment
his feet hit the floor, Bucky’s walking out of the kitchen with purpose,
dragging Steve in tow. They practically run up the stairs and into Bucky’s
room. Once inside, Bucky lets Steve go and then strides back out, only to
return with a chair from his dad’s office. Placing it in the middle of his
room, he moves Steve and then practically pushes him down onto it with a small
smirk on his face. Steve just stares up at him, back to looking like a deer
caught in headlights.
“Which one was your favourite?” Bucky asks, bracing his hands on the chair’s
arms and leaning down to lick at Steve’s mouth again. “Tell me and I’ll do it
for you right now.”
Steve’s too distracted, because the second Bucky’s making contact with his
mouth, he’s trying to yank him close again so they can keep kissing. It comes
as no surprise that he’s discovered that he absolutely lovesto kiss Bucky. But
the brunet just chuckles against his mouth and shakes his head, pulling away.
“No, baby, I want to know. Which one got you off the most? I wanna make this so
fuckin’ good for you.”
“Um… The, uh… The strip tease one,” Steve says, having difficulty stringing his
thoughts together coherently.
It looks like Bucky’s surprised by this answer, given everythingSteve’s seen
him do. But then he gets another lopsided smirk and looks at him from under
heavy lids, replying, “Mmm, good choice. Just sit back, then. This one’s just
for you – no one else.” He goes over to his speakers where his iPhone is
connected and quickly goes through his music. Steve hears the beginning chords
of the Proper Villains remix for Bass Down Low. It’s one of his favourite
songs. He shivers immediately.
Bucky comes in front of him and peers up at him through his lashes. He’s not
smirking anymore. Rather, he eyes Steve up and down as if he wants to pound him
right now into the floor. Steve’s heart beats so loudly in his ears that he can
barely hear the song – only the heavy breakdowns of the bass. Bucky starts by
swaying his hips from side to side slowly, until he falls into rhythm with the
music. Then he just lets the beat guide him. He rolls his body and moves his
hips perfectly as he keeps that lusty gaze zeroed in on Steve’s face. First, he
slides his shirt from off of his body. When he pulls it over his head, it
leaves his hair even messier. Steve wants to pull on it.
Bucky comes forward, so Steve parts his legs so his friend can step in close
and hook his shirt behind Steve’s neck. He gently pulls on it, tugging him in -
and Steve interprets this as an invitation to lean in and get his mouth on
Bucky’s abs. Rightbefore he can, though, Bucky grabs his chin and tilts it up
so they can look back at each other. Tsking, Bucky wags a finger and shakes his
head with a glimmer in his eyes. Steve’s mouth goes dry and he does nothing but
gulp to show his obedience.
Bucky backs away and palms Steve’s knees, making them come together again. He
plants one foot next to the blond’s thigh so he can roll his hips and give
Steve a nice view of his crotch while he works his button open. Pinching the
zipper, he teases it up and down for a second before finally undoing it all the
way. Moving to the music, the clothing practically melts to the floor as
Steve’s eyes trail along his best friend’s body. It’s impossible not to get
lost in the way Bucky’s muscles ripple and move like the fluid currents of the
ocean… Magnificent, and daunting, and untameable, and endless. Just like Bucky.
He leaves on only his boxer briefs as he turns so his back is to Steve. Palming
the chair’s arms again, Bucky lowers himself so his ass is justpressing down on
Steve’s crotch, and then twists his hips expertly. Steve sees white. He can’t
help it; he has to lean in and latch his mouth to Bucky’s back - kissing
everywhere he can and running his tongue over the notches in his spine. Bucky
sighs out a soft moan and keeps rubbing down against Steve’s clothed cock,
earning him muffled little groans from the blond behind him that brush across
and heat his skin.
Steve follows pliantly when Bucky tugs him out of the chair and guides him onto
the bed. The older boy presses his hands to Steve’s bony little chest and
pushes gently until Steve is lying down. Then he straddles him. Taking Steve’s
hands, he places them on the inside of his thighs - a silent encouragement to
touch – and then continues to roll his body and grind down on him while the
song automatically changes to something even slower and sexier, with heavy
acoustics and bass. He runs his hands through his hair and bites his lip. When
Steve’s hands work their way up and knead over his erection, his eyes flutter
shut and he breathes out Steve’s name like a secret.
Steve just stares up at him in wonder, his eyes nearly black. If he’d thought
Bucky was phenomenal on camera, it pales in comparison to him like this in the
flesh. He massages Bucky’s cock with more pressure, relying on the different
things he’s seen Bucky do to himself, as well as the tricks that Steve knows
from first-hand experience feel good on his own dick. Eventually, Bucky loses
his resolve and breathes, “Fuck it.” Climbing off Steve, he kicks off his
underwear and then covers his naked body over Steve’s still dressed one;
crushes the blond’s head down into the mattress with quick, hungry kisses.
Grabbing onto him and tightening his thighs on either side of Steve’s hips,
Bucky rolls them over so Steve’s the one on top. This is all so hot and
overwhelming that Steve can’t even think to be self-conscious when Bucky starts
yanking his own t-shirt up his torso. He just curls inward and sticks his arms
up so his best friend can pull it over his head. Bucky tosses it away and then
stares between them at Steve’s skinny chest, groaning deep in his throat. He
looks at that expanse of pale flesh, the flatness of his chest, the unnatural
protrusion of his collarbones, the almost arrogantway his ribs make themselves
so well-known against his skin… All of it, like Steve’s the sexiest thing he’s
ever seen.
But before Steve can stop and realize that he should maybe be feeling
embarrassed at the attention, Bucky’s sitting up, causing him to sit up with
him and essentially be planted in his lap. Bucky wraps his arms around Steve
and dives in with a heavy exhale; lips sucking and kissing along his collar
bones as though Bucky was in a frenzy. Steve closes his eyes and licks his
lips, his moans getting trapped in his throat. When Bucky hunches so he can
start laving at Steve’s tiny nipples with his tongue and scrape over them with
his teeth, Steve grabs the back of brown hair in one hand and jolts; finding
that one, hot moan that seems to spill out of him forever.
Bucky works his way back up and kisses his mouth again, falling them both back
to the mattress. Rolling over again, Bucky gets Steve onto his back so he can
kiss down his belly and start working to rid Steve of the rest of his clothes.
Steve knows that Bucky knows how inexperienced he is with all of this;
everything they’re doing is entirely new to him. Perhaps that’s why he’s trying
extra hard to make this that much better for Steve. The second he’s completely
naked, Steve doesn’t even have time for words. Before he knows it, Bucky’s
sucking Steve between his lips and bobbing his head shallowly along the first
few inches of his erection, breathing loudly through his nose and humming
softly in his throat as he tastes the blond for the first time.
Steve’s imagined what the inside of Bucky’s mouth would feel like (far too many
times to admit without looking like a pervert), but he could’ve never prepared
himself for this; the soft wetness of the inside of his cheeks… The sponginess
of his tongue… The friction of the sucking… The light scrape of teeth… Steve
doesn’t know how many guys Bucky’s blown before and it’s not likeSteve has
anything to compare it to, but he’d still be willing to bet money that Bucky’s
pretty fucking perfect at it.
He almost doesn’t pick up on the fact that Bucky’s pulled his lips back enough
to be saying his name, trying to get his attention. Steve tilts his chin to his
chest to look down and groans. “Jesus Christ, Buck,” he says, because his dick
is pressing rightagainst the corner of his obscenelybeautiful mouth, and he’s
looking up at Steve as if Steve alone had hung the moon. Steve still can’t
fully believe that this is really happening.
“We’ll only go as far as you wanna go,” Bucky tells him. “I’ll let you do
whatever you want to me – you wanna come in my mouth? You can… You want me to
put my fingers in you? Or yours in me? If you wanna fuck, we can fuck. Or even
if you didn’t want to go any further and would rather we head back downstairs
and put on Anchormanor somethin’ – although I willbe cuddlin’ you, if you pick
that last one, just a head’s up. But… this is all up to you. Just tell me what
I can do to make this perfect for you and it’s yours.”
Steve’s nervous. He’s nervous and he’s excited, but mostly, listening to the
selflessness and honestyin Bucky’s words – Steve just feels overwhelmed with
love for this guy. So he runs a slightly shaking hand through Bucky’s hair,
pushing it out of his face, and replies softly, “I want you to come up here and
kiss me again… And then I want everything.”
Bucky crawls back up him and fulfills the first request, kissing Steve gingerly
and real slow. It makes Steve’s toes curl more than anything else ever has,
because there’s nothing but adoration in this kiss. “Are you sure?” Bucky
whispers.
Steve nods. “M’sure. Only because it’s you, y’know? I…” He clears his throat,
swallowing down the urge to finish that sentence. “Anyways, there are still
some things I’ve been wanting to do with you for years, though, so...”
Bucky raises his eyebrows, expression turning coy. “Oh, really? Like what?”
Steve knows he has to just gofor it. There really has never been a better
opportunity to grow a pair. “I want you to turn around and let me eat you out,”
he tells him.
Bucky’s mouth falls open with the tiniest of poppingsounds. For a moment, he
appears flustered – Steve’s making him forget how to think, oh god, yes, yes,
yes please – but then he asks, “You wanna know another secret?”
“Okay.”
“Since I found out you were bi, I started grabbin’ showers rightbefore I’d get
together with you, everytime – justin the hopes that one day you’d say that to
me.”
Steve’s eyes bulge out of his head. A handful of memories flood into his mind,
but now suddenly they’re preceded by the idea of Bucky getting himself clean
down there every single time beforehand… He’d probably fingered himself a good
number of those times… Steve wonders how many times that’s led to Bucky jerking
off rightbefore seeing Steve, fantasizing about him. But that also means just
as many instances where Bucky experienced disappointment, too – because of
course, none of those times had ever resulted in that sort of thing. Steve’s
having difficulty understanding something…
“I’ve been wanting to ask you this since I found your site, but…” Steve bites
his lip, frowning. “Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this before – about your
sexuality, or liking me, or whatever?”
Bucky must see how hard he’s fighting to hide the hurt in his voice, because
his smile grows rueful and grey eyes soften. Roaming his gaze over Steve’s
face, he tenderly brushes Steve’s bangs off of his forehead before cradling the
side of his face and running his thumb back and forth over his cheekbone.
“I never knew for sure if you could’ve ever felt the same way about me,” Bucky
admits quietly. “You’re the greatest person I’ve ever known, and all I could
think was how you could do so much better. I wanted to give you the chance to
figure out who you were and what you wanted, and… like… be happy with someone
who would love you exactly the way you deserved.”
Steve’s mouth twists up as he fights down the swelling emotion bubbling up his
chest. He brings up his own hand and touches Bucky’s jaw; brushing his
fingertips over his best friend’s lips. “You’re an idiot,” he says. “I could
never do any better than you – have you looked in a mirror lately? You’re
perfect. It’s sort of disgusting; you shouldn’t be allowed.”
Chuckling, Bucky leans in and kisses him. Steve inhales deeply through his nose
and waits until it’s over to ask, “Well… What about now?”
“What d’ya mean?”
“Why did you decide nowthat it was worth makin’ a move?”
“Because…” Bucky says slowly, uncertainly – as if he might scare Steve off, “I
don’t want anyone else to be that person. I mean… I don’t know what’s gonna
happen down the road – in a year from now, or ten, but… For as long as you’ll
have me, I think I can love you better than anyone else. Sure as hell the best
person around to deal with your crap, too; that’s a big plus.” Steve’s face
falls flat, now glaring. Bucky barks out a laugh and says, “I’m kidding.”
But then he suddenly shakes his head with a small smile of realization and
continues, “Actually, you know what? No I’m not. You area pain in the ass
sometimes, and you dodrive me fuckin’ crazy sometimes, too - and not in the
good way. But those are just parts of ya that make you, you. I love your
crazyas much as I love the rest of ya. I’m pretty crazy too, though, so… I
think we balance each other out.”
“You love me?” Steve asks. He’s already forgotten everything else Bucky’s just
said.
“I… Well, yeah,” Bucky answers, narrowing his eyes and giving the blond a funny
look. “I thought you already knew that. I mean, don’t feel pressured to say it
back, though, or nothin’ – I don’t need you to love me just yet. We can work up
to that.”
“I love you, too,” Steve says quickly. Relief and delight brighten up Bucky’s
face, more radiant that a beautiful summer’s day in Brooklyn. Steve’s the one
who smirks now as he teases back, “Thought youknew that already, ya jerk.” Then
he slides his hand to Bucky’s nape and tugs him back down so he can kiss him.
He loves how easily Bucky lets himself be pulled and how seamlessly their
mouths slot together.
He realizes the conversation had given his body time to settle down a bit from
his arousal, and from the feel of it, Bucky’s erection has softened a bit, too.
So he squirms a little beneath the bigger body so he can feel the brunet’s cock
pressing down against his and then grabs Bucky’s ass and squeezes, coaxing
Bucky to start rocking his hips. Bucky lets out a little, surprised moan in his
mouth and then picks up his cue. Rolling his body to Steve’s, he bites at
Steve’s bottom lip and then says, “I sort of thought that you weren’t in the
mood for that no more. Thought you’d just wanna cuddle or somethin’.”
“I dowanna cuddle,” Steve says, smiling as he kisses Bucky again. “But first I
still have to get my tongue on you. I’ve been dying for it forever; no way in
hell I’m letting you take that away from me now.”
“Hey, no one said anything about me retractin’ the offer.”
“Good. So, uh… How should we do this?” Steve asks. He’s seen a number of
different positions and has no way of knowing if different ones make it feel
betteror worseor what-have-you. “You can, like, hover over my face and I can
try it that way?”
“With your asthma, not happening,” Bucky replies. “Here, let me try doing
this…”
He repositions so he’s turned around, with his head between Steve’s legs and
his ass in front of Steve’s face. Steve tries not to let his jitters show
through – but he is most definitely scared as fuck inside, because he wants
this so bad it hurts, but he also doesn’t want to be awful at it. He feels
along Bucky’s ass and lower back, fueled by the soft sighs he can hear below.
When he finally has the guts to spread Bucky open and come face-to-face with
his opening, his erection returns with a vengeance.
He hears Bucky chuckle breathlessly. “You haven’t even done anything yet,” he
teases.
“This is… You look… just, sogood, Buck,” Steve says breathlessly. Licking his
lips, he starts to inch his face forward. “Now, I don’t got no experience with
this sorta thing, so m’gonna do my best – but if you laughat me, I swear to
god, Buck--”
“Steve, it’s fine. It’s not like I have anything to compare it to anyways.”
“What?” Steve pauses, not having expected that answer.
He can’t see Bucky’s face but he can feel the brunet’s mouth as it presses
kisses along the tops of his thighs and around the base of his dick. He’s even
morethrown off guard when Bucky clarifies by saying, “I’ve never done this with
anyone before, either. It’s fine.”
“Wait, hold on. You’re not a virgin.”
“Yeah, not with girls,” Bucky answers. “But I’ve never been with another dude
before.” Chuckling as he licks softly over Steve’s slit to clean up the precome
beginning to shine there (making Steve gasp and cant his hips up), he asks,
“When did I ever give you reason to think I had?”
“But, I mean… All that stuff you did to yourself…”
“Have youever fingered yourself?”
“Well, yeah…”
“Exactly. I mean, just ‘cause I know how to work my own body doesn’t mean I’ve
ever done any of that shit with another person. I just masturbate a lot.”
Steve’s too stunned to come up with a response right away. This makes
everything even more intense because they’re actually going to be experiencing
and trying things together for the first time. All he wants to do is start
babbling out an entire encyclopedia of all the reasons he’s so fucking in love
with Bucky Barnes.
Thenhe hears Bucky say, “If you were worried I’d be able to, like… guide us
through it or somethin’… I mean, I know my way around what we’re supposedto do,
but… Yeah, I guess I always held off ‘cause I wasn’t done hopin’ yet that my
first time might be with you.”
And that simple little sentiment – holding somuch more beneath the surface –
goes straightto Steve’s head and turns his brain to mush. Suddenly he’s burying
his face between Bucky’s cheeks and licking at his asshole like he’s a dying
man. Bucky spasms and moans loudly, and then it’s like the time for talking is
over – like it was insaneand preposterousthat they’d even allowed themselves to
notbe ravishing each other for a single second.
Steve whines loudly – the noise muffled – when he feels the hot, slick inside
of Bucky’s mouth as he swallows Steve down as far as he can go and sucks his
cock again. It just makes him twice as desperate to push his tongue against
Bucky more ferociously. They both whimper between breaths and work each other
over, and Steve has no idea what he’s doing but Bucky seems to like it – much
like Bucky, even for all of his supposed inexperience, is bringing Steve
nothing but ecstasy at the care he’s lavishing on him.
Steve’s neck starts getting a little sore from keeping his head elevated like
that, but there’s no way in hell he plans on pulling back. He has drool running
down his chin and everything sounds waytoo sloppy and uncoordinated, but
Bucky’s hole against his tongue is a hundred – a thousand, a million– times
sexier than any fantasy Steve’s created in his mind before. It keeps twitching
around his tongue but he feels it, the way it gradually starts to go lax and
soft, making it easier as the minutes pass for him to flex his tongue and push
it deeper into Bucky’s body with every attempt.
Maybe he’s getting a tad overzealous, but he can’t stop himself from scrambling
one hand around Bucky’s body and wrapping his fingers around his best friend’s
cock. It's his first time touching it, and… Bucky’s cock is perfect; thick and
just a little longer than average and heavy in his grasp. When he starts
stroking it at the same time that he seals his lips over Bucky’s entrance and
starts to suck, Bucky yanks his head free to shout, “F-Fuck!” before arching
his back and trying to both thrust down into Steve’s hand while also not moving
too far away from Steve’s mouth, and oh god, ah, ah… Mm! Oh my g… god… S-Steve…
A slightly startled sound gets caught in Steve’s throat when, instead of
lunging back for his cock, Bucky instead wedges his hands between Steve’s ass
and the mattress. Grabbing it almost painfully, he uses his strength and
Steve’s barely-there weight to lift the blond’s hips into the air. It’s high
enough for Bucky to then rest his arms on the bed and have Steve’s ass sitting
on them; high enough for him to curl over, past Steve’s balls, and get his
mouth on his best friend’s asshole, too.
It’s a strange feeling – sort of makes Steve feel dirtyand exposed, but
wonderfully so. Yet the change in sensations is too sudden. He can feel his
balls tightening, so he frees his mouth to anxiously shout, “Stop, stop -
Buck!”
Bucky does as he’s told without any hesitation. “Are you alright?” Steve hears
him asking quickly, sounding worried. “Did I hurt you? What did I do?”
“No, I…” NowSteve lets his head thump back to the bed. He closes his eyes and
chuckles, embarrassed and face flaring up. His chin is still shiny with spit,
though not nearly as wet as Bucky’s ass – that perfect little hole gaping just
a bit bigger and still fluttering, as if trying to coerce Steve back to it.
“M’too close,” he admits reluctantly, cleaning the mess of saliva off his face
with the back of his hand. “Lately I’ve been able to get it up more than once a
night when I watch your videos but… I can never be sure that my body will have
it in it. I’m way too fuckin’ horny right now - I could come and then not be
able to do anythin’ else for the night.”
“So?” Bucky asks lightly. But he climbs off of Steve anyways. Turning upright,
he crawls back over him and kisses along the blond’s neck. “I don’t care,
Steve. That’s not what this is about for me. I’m just… I’m just glad you’re
here, y’know? With me, like this.”
“You don’t need to convince me, Buck. I want it because Iwant it, for me – not
‘cause I feel I have to for youor anythin’.”
“Okay, buddy… As long as you’re sure…” He plants small, sucky kisses from one
collar bone to the next, before resting his chin on Steve’s chest, mindful not
to let it press down too hard. Peering up at him, Bucky asks, “Do you know
which way you’d like to try it? Like, whether you want to be the one to…?”
Steve gives a small shake of the head. “I don’t really care,” he admits.
“M’gonna be a bit nervous either way but eventually, I wanna do allof that with
you – every way we can.”
“That sounds like a lot of work,” Bucky jokes, faking exhaustion. “I’m
regretting this already.”
“Fuck off,” Steve says with a chuckle. “I just mean, I don’t care. I just wanna
stop talkin’ and fucking doit because I’m legit dyin’here. You choose.”
“Me, huh? Well… I’ve gotten myself off to picturing how tight you’d feel
wrapped around me – fuck, heh… A part of me wants to fuck you so hard that you
can’t walk for a week,” Bucky says. He groans at his own confession; dropping
his face into Steve’s chest before he starts kissing his way back down again.
Steve slides his fingers into Bucky’s hair – thrilled and a tiny bit fearful as
he waits to hear which choice Bucky will settle on.
“I think… that I want this to be as perfect for you as possible,” Bucky says
when his head is between Steve’s legs again, stamping invisible kisses along
the sensitive joints where his legs meet his pelvic bone. “If I fuck you,
m’gonna be worried the entire time that I’m hurting you. We’ll work up to that,
obviously, but… I’ve at least slept with people before in general. You haven’t.
This is your first-first time, so it should be all about you. Get what I’m
saying?”
Steve bites his lip and nods, petting Bucky’s hair. The brunet closes his eyes
and smiles, humming at the light scraping of his friend’s nails against his
scalp. When they slowly open, he murmurs, “Okay. One second.” Hopping off the
bed, Bucky goes to his closet and grabs a condom and a half-empty bottle of
lube. When he returns, he sits on his knees off to Steve’s side and starts by
giving him a slow handjob before rolling the condom down the length. They kiss
while Bucky rubs him some more, this time to spread the slick all over the
latex.
Only after asking one more timeif Steve’s ready, Bucky straddles him. Keeping
himself up, he brings his lubed fingers behind him and works himself open with
first one, then two, then three fingers. He keeps telling Steve to look at him,
and when their eyes lock, it’s nothing but heavy breathing and the odd little
grunt from Bucky. He purposely avoids touching his prostate because he wants to
leave that all to Steve; wants Steve to feel personally responsible for Bucky
experiencing that much pleasure tonight.
Steve’s nowhere nearthe size of some of the things he’s watched Bucky put into
himself, so it’s no surprise that when his best friend finally lines their
bodies up and starts sinking down onto him and impaling himself, he’s able to
take Steve balls-deep on the first try. Still, Bucky’s eyes squeeze shut –
hands splayed flush on Steve’s chest – and he moans quietly as his hole strains
and stretches. For Steve, Bucky’s body feels indescribable around him. He’s all
heat and fuck, he’s so tight, and Steve isn’t a virgin anymore – in one night,
he’s already experienced so much and all of it, with the only person to have
ever mattered in this way – and it all feels so good… And yet the firstthing he
can think to speak is a goddamn apologyto Bucky about his size.
“What?” Bucky asks distractedly; eyes still closed as he starts rocking his
hips back and forth justenough to get him used to the intrusion. The movements
make sharp, amazing explosions go off in Steve’s balls. He tightens his grip on
Bucky’s hips and whimpers, biting his lip.
“I just… I know m’nothing like some of those toys, or…”
Bucky shakes his head. “No, stop. You’re perfect…” he breathes. Licking his
lips and furrowing his brows, he undulates down onto the blond’s cock more
faithfully. Steve gasps. “Steve, you feel perfect,” Bucky continues, “like you
were made for me. No… No pain… Just… It… God, Stevie… How’s it feel for you?
Good?”
“Toogood,” Steve confesses. He’s already gripping Bucky so hard that it’ll be a
miracle if the brunet’s skin doesn’t bruise purple. Bucky doesn’t seem to
notice. “I don’t think I can… last very long, I’m sorry…” Steve warns him
through gritted teeth.
“Don’t be, baby; this is all for you.” Bucky bends down and brings his face in
close so they can seek shelter in each other’s mouths and swallow the taste of
their moans. Bucky slows his ministrations down to prolong it as long as he can
for Steve. For a while, they stop speaking. Bucky fucks himself nice and slow
and deepon Steve's dick, while Steve’s only responsibility is to lie there and
drown in the pleasure. Bucky quickly learns how his breathing patterns signal
whether he’s too close or not, and whenever he picks up on it, he’ll go
completely still and just kiss Steve – his mouth, his jaw, his forehead, even
the tip of his nose – until the blond reigns his arousal in enough to nod for
Bucky to keep going.
Bucky starts to get louder when he plays with the angle of his hips so he can
force Steve’s cock to start scraping his prostate. It’s like the momentBucky
starts letting go, Steve gives himself permission, too. Suddenly, he’s not
focusing so much on trying to preventhis release, but staring up at Bucky from
under half-drooped lids and panting, “I wanna come…”
His best friend nods, looking spacey and just as debauched as Steve is.
Straightening up, he grabs the headboard with his left hand and starts rising
and falling around the blond’s cock, quick and rough; rolling his hips every
time he sinks back down so it becomes one gigantic body roll – up and downand
forward and back, overand over, and fasterand faster. Steve’s releasing a
stream of auh’s every time he’s fully sheathed in Bucky’s ass. He isn’t sure
how much longer he’s going to last, but then Bucky makes that decision for him.
Beautiful as ever - moving and moaning all for Steve; eyeingSteve with a fiery
lust but also a sort of worshipthat Steve never knew he could be deserving of –
Bucky whispers, “Come for me, baby, please… Come for me…” at the same moment
that he does a small little twist with his hips.
Steve has no choice but to obey. Buried in Bucky’s body, he comes harder than
he ever has before, filling that condom right up.
He sounds wrecked even to his own ears as he cries out. His eyes are closed,
but suddenly he's shut up by Bucky slamming their mouths together as the brunet
rides him through it. Steve realizes Bucky’s jerking off now; can hear the
sound and feel the frantic back and forthas the brunet’s knuckles keep brushing
against his belly. Right as Steve’s orgasm ends, Bucky’s hits him. Bucky
whines, the sound escalating into a sob into Steve’s mouth as Steve’s stomach
gets warmed up with the streaks of Bucky’s come. They just continue to beat
their tongues together, and Steve wraps his arms around Bucky and holds him
close while Bucky temporarily falls apart – much like the way Bucky had
grounded Steve so thoroughly while taking care of him.
They can clean themselves up after. They can watch movies after and order pizza
after and return to the rest of the world after. For now, Steve’s happy with
living in this moment for as long as it’ll have them.
===============================================================================
Two days later seems like a bit of a shortamount of time to be having their
first ‘couple’s argument’, but that sort of feels like that’s what it is, Steve
thinks. Things had been so blissful up until Monday evening. Saturday night,
they'd alternated between passing the night the same way they always used when
they hung out - except there was also kissing and touching involved. When Steve
woke up in the middle of the night with Bucky pressed to his back and wrapped
up in his arms, this time it had been intentional.And this time, he finally
couldpress back against him and revel in the sleepy little moan it earned
him... before Bucky woke up entirely, started biting at the back Steve’s neck
and shoulder, and then fingered his little ass while Steve gave him a handjob
until they were both dirtying up Bucky’s sheets, too.
Sunday was spent entirely together as well (once again, mostly kissing and
touching). And then Monday morning – because they deliberately had wanted to
shock their friends – Bucky waited for Steve at the picnic tables like usual,
this time with most of the gang already there, too. Steve had pulled up and
went over to them, greeting them cheerily… and then kissing Bucky smack-dab on
the lips, casual as anything. After a unified, stunned silence, Clint had
shouted, “Finally!”and then Peggy and Lizzie screamed while everyone hugged
them both and congratulated them.
(As well as revealing that they’d been waiting for this day since the fourth
grade.)
Aside from in front of their friends, they’d kept the PDA to a minimum; holding
hands under the table in the cafeteria, or if no one was around, making sure
the coast was clear so they could sneak a kiss. Steve had his eyes on Bucky
even more than he’d used to, but the difference was, now he always caught Bucky
staring back with a little smile.
But then that nightrolls around, and Steve had been so caught up in LaLa Land
that he’d just sort of assumedthat Bucky’s website wouldn’t be a thing anymore.
Maybe that’d been presumptuous of him, but he’d just lost his fucking
virginityto the guy two days prior and now Bucky was going to go continue
giving that side of himself away to strangers?
What’s the most annoying about this ‘argument’ of theirs is that it’s not
reallyan argument because that would mean that Bucky was fighting back. Except
he isn’t. In fact, he’s being waytoo fucking casual about the whole thing;
keeps palming Steve’s shoulders and saying, “Buddy, it’s just somethin’ I gotta
do. It’s mychoice and I need you to accept that.” Steve’s huffing and feeling
pretty indignant because, yeah, the timing’s a little rotten and he feels hurt.
And then to add insult to injury, Bucky tells him that he should watchit, right
there at Bucky’s place. Since it’s being recorded live again, he can just watch
it from Bucky’s laptop in another room.
“I’ll only be a couple minutes, Steve; no point in you goin’ home,” he tries to
reason with him.
“Whywould I want to watch that?” Steve asks, sighing. “I’m your boyfriend;
notone of your ‘Bucksters’ no more.”
“C’mon, please? I think you’ll really like this one – I’m gonna be talking
about doin’ something I haven’t done yet. It’s a big step for me and I’ve been
realexcited about giving everyone the news. C’mon… For me?”
In the end, Steve gives in and agrees. He wants to punch Bucky in the face,
mind you, but he agrees. Since Steve had deactivated his account, Bucky just
logs into his own and hands the laptop over to him. “Just click on the link
right there,” he says, pointing to it. "Just don’t do anything to fuck up my
account or somethin’, or it’ll glitch out on my end.”
“Yeah, okay, Buck; I won’t ruinyour show,” Steve mutters. Glaring at him, he
adds, “You’re gonna owe be so big after this.”
Bucky grins triumphantly. “Promise I will.” He notices the time – the vlog is
scheduled to start in two minutes – so he kisses Steve’s cheek quickly and
says, “Okay, be right back – don’tgo home!” With loud, clunking footfalls, he
runs up the stairs and heads for his bedroom. Those are easily two of the most
miserable minutes of Steve’s life. He’s actually grumbling under his breath by
the time the feed starts up and he sees Bucky’s face on the screen.
“Hey there, Bucksters,”he says happily, waving. “As I mentioned last week, I
had some very important news I wanted to share with you all, so, here I am. You
know... I’ve been on this site for almost six months – it feels like forever,
really. I can’t even begin to thank all of you who have written me over the
months, sent me requests, subscribed to me… After the whole ‘veste4’ thing,
many of you started messaging mejust to talk to me like a regular human being,
or to tell me how my videos could help cheer you up if you were having a bad
day. Many of you felt embarrassed about tellin’ me this, since… I mean,who gets
cheered up that much by, well… basicallyporn, right?”
Bucky’s smile is softer now as he looks down in thought. “But the thing is,
there’s nothin’ wrong with that at all… Because sometimes, the things that
bring us happiness in life aren’t the things you might expect, or the way you
always expected it to happen. This is… somethin’ I’ve definitely come to
realize in just the past few days alone. You know, you’ve all let me share so
many parts of me with you guys; have someone to talk to when there were days I
didn’t know where else to turn. Here, I was never alone – even if it was ‘just
porn’. And thanks to you guys, I’ve long since fulfilled my financial goals for
school. I could never find the words to repay you or thank you enough;
seriously, I’m still astounded by it and you’re all the absolute fuckin’ best –
Ican’t say that enough, I swear.”
He chuckles a bit and then gets a warm, tender expression. Looking back at the
camera, he says, “There’s one more thing I want to share with you guys about
me; it’s the real reason I’m making this vlog tonight. Many of you have
messaged me to ask over the months if I was seeing anyone, and I’m sure a lot
of you have noticed that I always avoided that question. The truth is… there’s
always been someone in my life that I’ve been head over heels for, but I was
too scared to tell them. He’s pretty great – and yes, it’s a ‘he’… I wish I
could tell you who he is, just ‘cause I love to talk about him, but… heh… You
guys knows the drill.
“Anyways, things finally came out into the open and I’m pretty excited about
it. I don’t know what’ll happen in the future – y’know, if we’ll break up
before the summer’s over, or move in with each other next year, or date for ten
years, or if we’ll get married one day and adopt some kids and get them hooked
on video games, heh... But that’s sort of a beautiful thing about life, ain’t
it? The possibilities are endless; it can be anything you want it to be.
Thepoint is, all Ido know is that as soon as this video’s over, I plan on
askin’ him to be my date to prom this weekend. Fingers crossed that he says
yes.”He leans in and whispers, like it’s a secret, “I already asked our friends
if they were cool with it and they were. So.”
Sitting back in his chair, his smile becomes just a tinybit sad. “I hope that
after everything I’ve just told you, it won’t come as much of a surprise that…
this’ll be my last video. This chapter of my life has been real fun, and I’m
sorry for it being such short notice. It’s time for a brand new chapter, you
know? And finally - fuckin’finally -it’s with the guy I’ve been in love with my
entire life.
“So, my crazy, wonderful Bucksters, I love you all, I will miss you, and thanks
for being perverts with me. I’ve learned so much more aboutmyself thanks to you
guys. It’s been fun.”He waves at the camera, pausing and then saying, “Byeeee.”
He looks to his computer screen but then seems to remember something, quickly
looking back at his webcam and adding, “Oh yeah! And for those of you who’d
wished me luck for my Advanced Chem class - thanks a bunch, and you’ll be happy
to know that I got an A-. Okay,now bye!”
He waves one more time and then the video ends.
Steve continues to stare at the screen. He’s smiling, but his eyes are bright
and wet. A minute later and he hears footsteps coming down the stairs, Bucky’s
voice coming from behind him. “Refresh the page,” he says, and Steve can
hearthe lopsided little smirk in his tone. When he does, it comes up with an
error message before redirecting him back to the original site’s login page.
Bucky’s profile is deactivated.
Steve closes the laptop and looks over his shoulder to his best friend. He
sniffles and wipes the back of his nose quickly so he doesn’t start blubbering
like a baby; putting the laptop to the side and rising to his feet. Bucky just
leans against the wall with his arms crossed, staring at Steve amusedly.
“Yes,” Steve says, already crossing the room towards him.
Bucky unfolds his arms and straightens. “Yes what?” he teases. But he already
knows the answer.
“Prom,” is all Steve says before throwing his arms around Bucky’s neck, rising
to his tip-toes, and kissing him. Bucky smiles into it and wraps his arms
around Steve’s waist.
“Prom,” Bucky confirms. They look at each other, grinning like idiots. Bucky
presses his lips to Steve’s forehead and then muses, “Y’know, we stilldidn’t go
pick up your suit yesterday.”
“Mm, I know. Sorta got distracted,” Steve replies playfully.
“Let’s go pick it up some time this week after school.”
“Sure, which day were ya thinkin’?”
Bucky looks away and hums in thought. “I think I might have some free time on
Thursday,” he says, glancing back down to meet baby blues. “In fact, it seems
like all my Thursdays in the foreseeable future have suddenly become a lot more
vacant.”
“Good thing you’ve got me then, huh?” Steve says with a shit-eating grin.
Bucky returns it, leaning back in to steal another kiss. "I'd say I'm pretty
damn lucky, yeah."
Steve understands... because he is, too. He really is.
End Notes
     The fucking amazing stuckylicious did this fanart for the story and
     everyone needs to see it and go follow her right meow:
     [https://38.media.tumblr.com/b1c913e0674049e7451ff13b1a24060d/
     tumblr_nf21zf2RRQ1told9vo1_1280.jpg]
And only TWO gifs for this one because it deserves ALL of your attention...
TELL ME THIS DOES NOT LOOK IDENTICAL TO TEENAGE STEVE AND BUCKY! THIS IS
TEENAGE STUCKY; THIS IS MY NEW FAVOURITE THING IN THE WORLD
[http://i.imgur.com/e4BZo6s.gif]
[https://38.media.tumblr.com/52fa1b3e981a0a960dcbfa0d72d2ac23/
tumblr_nhttw7Z8CJ1tmytvxo1_500.gif]
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
